Blogtember 2015: Wise Words

Pinterest 

The first time I heard this quote I was in a church basement. I was a youth group leader and our group was participating in a two week mission project in our community. I learned a lot and experienced a lot during that time but the thing that stuck with me the most is this quote. "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." Let that sink in for just a minute. It seems to me that a lot of people think that in order to do answer God's call they have to struggle and sacrifice and be unhappy. The reality is that is not the case. Yes, sometimes we struggle and make sacrifices, but God wants us to be happy! He has given each of us unique talents, passions and goals because each of us has a unique plan for each of us that requires the perfect combination of a whole lot of things. When we're following a call it's easy to focus on the struggles and completely lose sight of the big picture. The realized dream and accomplished goal mean more than what we've "missed". 

I often relate this to camp. If given the choice between relaxing on a beach or spending the day at camp, I'd chose camp every time. I don't think I'm missing out on summer. It's okay that camp isn't going to make me a millionaire, the "sacrifice" of living on a budget isn't really a sacrifice when it means I'm working at camp. Doing what makes me happy, what brings me deep gladness is exactly what God has called me to do.

Linking up with Blogtember.

What Makes You Happy?

When I first saw the prompt "What Makes You Happy" from Blogtober I thought it would be a fun/easy post to write. Take fifteen minutes and write a list; The Princess Bride, Vanilla Coke, camp, coffee, starry summer skies, gummy bears…more or less the same list of things I regurgitate every time someone asks me what makes me happy. So I started to think about it more.

A few months ago I would have told you nothing makes me happier than camp and then I had a rough summer. Without a doubt there were moments of happiness but I don't think I was in a state of happiness. That doesn't necessarily mean that I've suddenly had a huge change of heart and my dream job is no longer my dream job, but after this summer I can recognize not just things that make me happy but the concepts. The reasons for the happy.

Jogging pants & hoodies make me happy because they make me feel comfortable. 

Journaling, doodling and crafting make me happy because when I'm putting pen to paper and sticking things together I can make all the decisions and feel completely in control. I can experiment with things and if it doesn't work then I can try something else and in the end I have a finished product. 

Photography makes my happy because I worry about forgetting and by capturing moments I'm leaving proof of my existence and creating something that will help people remember.

Reading makes me happy because I enjoy knowing about people. Hearing people's stories, relating to them or being inspired by them. 

Cooking makes me happy because it's a way of serving people. Sometimes it's hard to express sentiments of thanks or sorry or celebration but food is a universal language and cooking something for someone shows you care. 

Constellations make me happy because staring up at the sky watching for shooting stars and searching for the patterns allows me to connect with God in a way that I haven't been able to achieve in any other way.

And now I'm going to make some lunch and spend the rest of my Sunday enjoying a quiet house and a second cup of coffee. 

Big Things

The past week has been a whirlwind of happens. I've written before about how God Moves Fast and I always say that more often than not everything happens all at once, this week has been no exception to that rule. The grant officially ended Friday and I hadn't heard back from any of the local jobs I had applied for, only things out of province. Then on Wednesday morning I got a call saying that someone had quit at the last minute and they needed someone who could begin training that evening. So I said yes and went from being almost unemployed to accepting a really great job offer. 

Since then I've experienced countless moments and coincidences of perfection that leave me with an almost overwhelming feeling that I have no idea what God is up to but He is working on big things. The signs I've prayed for seem to be popping up all over the place and leading me in the right direction. Have I mentioned the new job offer is also a contract, that ends in March (with a possible extension to April), which is of course perfect timing for camp. 

I'm not delusional enough to believe that just because in this moment it feels as though God is planning on brining me back to camp this summer. All of these happenings are really just reminding me to pay attention to my surroundings. Listen, watch, feel, observe the world around me. I am excited about the things that I'm sure are going to appear over the next few months. Not all of them will be good, but God's plan is good and I trust His plan.

(Even if it's kind of scary.)

Solo

This week alone I saw two engagements and one pregnancy announcement pop up on my Facebook feed. All from girls the same age (or a year younger) than me. I am really happy for those people and I wish them nothing but the best, that doesn't mean I don't feel a twinge of hurt/jealousy whenever another announcement comes rolling in.

Once upon a time I met a boy who was a few check marks short of perfect…except for one glaring problem, he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Which I calmly accepted and let myself hope (and pray) that at some point the timing would be right and we could be together. Then he met someone else, who he was ready to be in a relationship with and I spent a month  far longer than I would like to admit bursting into tears when I saw photos of their adventures and listening to Taylor Swift while I tried to process my feelings towards the whole thing. Things are better now, I'm a little less emotionally fragile and when I step back and take myself out of the equation I really do want him to be happy. 

I get discouraged pretty easily when it feels like everyone else in the world is in a serious relationship, two steps away from marriage but I know that I would rather be single than be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. 

It's hard to be confident and okay with this whole season of singleness thing when I have such a strong desire to be married and have a family. I trust that there is a reason God's current plan for me doesn't involve being in a relationship. I have don't have much of an idea why that is, but if I let myself believe that it's something I'm doing wrong I get angry and bitter. And nobody likes the angry bitter single girl. Including myself.

If you want to read more about my thoughts on being single check out this post.

Linking up with Bailey Jean for Blog-Tember! 

Coffee & Prayers

{one} 

I'm in the market for a new Bible. My current "all-purpose" Bible was given to me at the beginning of an LIT program I completed at camp when I was 16. It's very much highlighted and bookmarked and noted and has seen better days. I'm sure I'll save it forever but I feel like I'm in a phase of life where I need to start fresh. If you have any suggestions for a translation or specific Bible I should get I am all ears! I have been using God's Word translation but I'm open to change. I already have a copy of The Message that I read on occasion but would prefer something else for daily use.

{two} 

I posted yesterday on Instagram about my deep love for Salted Caramel Mocahs from Starbucks and I'm going to post about it again here. I know everyone goes head over heels for Pumpkin Spice this time of year but the PS Bandwagon is not one I'm interested in joining. I so rarely go to Starbucks but I had an appointment yesterday and picked some up on my way home. It's been a long week and I'm starting to feel the stress of not knowing what's around the corner. 

{three}

Somewhere along the way between April & Now I lost my planner. It wasn't so bad during the summer because the days schedule was always posted on the door and when I had errands to do during break I made a to-do list and got things done. Now that I'm back in the Monday-Friday real world I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing each day. I was trying to plan blog posts last night and realized I had nowhere to write them down. I'm way too cheap to buy a fancy Erin Condren planner or any of those other brand name books that cost an arm and a leg. So fingers crossed I can find something cute & cheap the next time I'm at Wal-Mart. 

{four}

I'm doing an Online Bible Study with Love God Greatly on Esther which prior to this month isn't a book of the Bible I've read a whole lot. I do feel like it's perfect timing though so much of the lessons we've covered so far is about trusting that God has you where you need to be. It might not be where you want to be but there is a reason why. I struggle so much with journalling and really making a specific time to pray and reflect during the camp season it's one of the biggest challenges I've found working at a secular camp. It's been lovely to get back into a routine of journalling every day and having time to really reflect opposed to a quick prayer before bed. 

{five}

One of the best things about working from home is waking up at 8:30, putting on a pair of jogging pants and checking my e-mail on the couch while I drink my coffee. My brother broke my favourite coffee mug earlier this week and now I can't seem to find another one that holds just the right amount of coffee. There are a million coffee mugs in the cupboard though so I refuse to buy a new one, but it just isn't the same. Please tell me I'm not the only one with an unhealthy emotional attachment to which mug I drink my coffee out of in the morning.

     

Into August

Pinterest

I can not believe that this summer is basically over. 

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of tears & laughter mixed fuelled by extreme chaos and moments when you are positively certain your life must be a TV show. For example, one morning last week I found myself digging through the camp dumpster in search of a spoon that had accidentally been thrown out. A lot of our campers bring their own equipment that has been adapted to help give them independence. This particular spoon belonged to a camper who without her adapted spoon isn't able to feed herself. After tearing the kitchen and dining area apart (including the dishwasher) it was determined that the only place for it to be was in the dumpster. Luckily we found it in garbage bag #7. Not only is it lucky because the camper got her spoon back but also lucky because we didn't have to dig through the other 10 bags that were sitting in the dumpster.

In all honesty the dumpster moments are the easy moments. They are funny. You know that it's going to be a funny story to tell a little farther down the road. The hard moments are being happy for the people around me who are moving across the country for the dream job, getting accepted into their first choice school to complete their masters, falling in love; etc. etc. overcoming the feeling that I'm not just getting left behind but I'm getting lapped. I am so thrilled for everyone else's successes and happiness. The bottom line is always that you want the people you love to be happy. Even if they're being happy with someone else or being happy 10,000 km away from you. 

Elusive Pause

Pinterest

I have always been a supporter of the theory "slow & steady wins the race" and that "good things come to those who wait". Over the years I'v had many friends voice their strong opposing theories; good things come to people who work for them and the quicker the better, all that jazz. On some level I understand…unless you give me the chance to elaborate you may assume I'm someone who sits around all day and just hopes for the best. 

The truth is my "good things come to those who wait" philosophy is more about having faith in God's timing and believing that even when it doesn't seem that way He is in control and He has only my best interests in mind. 

And sometimes He says "no". 

And sometimes you think He is saying "No.", followed by "Absolutely Not.", followed by "seriously, I said no. Stop. Move on." So you take the hint (sort of) and slowly start to move on but the question never really leaves your mind. 

And sure enough, slowly but all at once just when you had stopped asking everyday (and only asked on special occasions) you start to realize what He has really telling you is "Not Right Now.", "Not Yet.", "Now is not the the time." and in that moment you hear "Not quite yet…but someday".

There is no doubt that 'someday' is several calendar years away. 

Things will unfold slowly and steadily. One step at a time.

Be patient, therefore, brothers & sisters, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. James 5:7-8 

I fully realize this post is pretty vague and such but for now that's the way it needs to be. The specific details are few and far between and right now they are the tiniest of threads being woven together. It's a beginning though, the strongest ropes start with a single thread. And I am overwhelmed with hope and faith that even if these threads aren't going to produce the final pattern that I'm hoping for whatever the end result is will be nothing short of amazing.

God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever ask for or imagine. - Ephesians 3:20

Called To Be Woven

I had one of the best weekends I've had in a really long time. It seems like it's been so long since I've experienced God Moments but this weekend I seemed to be surrounded. I found them in the most unexpected places, but I am so grateful that I did. 

I'm grateful for the peace of not knowing the specifics, but knowing that I need only to keep listening and watching and following 'the call'. 

I'm grateful for coffee on rainy Monday mornings.

I'm grateful for fulfilled promises.

I'm grateful for songs that give me goosebumps. 

I am full of hope, praise, celebration, faith and delight that I know there are big things ahead. 

I am grateful for passion and opportunities to use that passion to make a difference. 

40 Days of Life

I was going to post about my weekend at home but then I realized I need to recap and reflect on Lent! I loved the idea of doing a Lenten Journal but I missed the boat on ordering one online and I couldn't find exactly what I wanted in stores. So I got out my markers and felt tip pens and got crafting! 

First I found a weekly template that was meant to be used for to-do lists on Pinterest. I used this one and you can find the free PDF download here. I did some quick math and printed out enough sheets for the entire season of Lent plus extra to keep going. Then I hole punched the whole works and put them into a duo-tang. 

My goal was to take 10-15 minutes each day and fill in the circle for the day. I didn't give myself any rules about what could and could not fill a circle. Some days it was full of random doodles, others a verse, sometimes a single word and sometimes a combination of everything. I used the "Notes" section of the page to add in any extra prayer requests for that week or praises as the week went on. 

I'll be honest and admit there were nights I missed, but I made a point to catch up the next day. I never let myself get more than two days behind and for the most part I stayed on top of things. Overall it was a positive and productive experience. So much so that I am going to continue with it, it really doesn't take that much time and I really like having that quick snapshot of each day. 

Honestly it's hard for me to believe that 40 days are over. It's one of those things that seemed so long at the beginning but in retrospect went by fast. It has become part of my routine though and I am so happy that I was able to fully establish a meaningful and positive new habit during Lent!

God Moves Fast

At least once a week for the past five months I've mentioned "the grant" on blog. For those of you who are new around here "the grant" I'm referring to is a grand my camp had applied for to transform my current job as seasonal program/assistant director into full time. I'm not exaggerating when I say it has been a never ending saga of jumping through hoops and thinking we've reached the end only to discover more paperwork needed to be filled out, or they misplaced information they got over the phone or that the person in charge of our application was leaving that department so it was being passed on to somebody else. When the original proposal and application was sent in the requested start date was October 28. October 28. Needless to say that date passed and with each month we assumed the odds of getting approval decreased significantly. The most frustrating part of the whole thing was the grant was never "denied", it was sitting in limbo. Which meant I was sitting in limbo too. I couldn't sign on a contract anywhere else because if the grant was approved I obviously wanted to be working there. 

Tuesday we heard from the person overseeing our application and he said something along the lines of "things look good". It was so tempting to get excited but "things look good" is a long way away from "approved". So I didn't get excited. Then yesterday morning we got official approval! And a start date of February 3rd. That gives me 9 days to move. Nine days to find an apartment in the city (that meets all my requirements and is budget friendly) and pack and move and start work. 

My anxiety is pretty darn high at the moment. 

I had a bunch of posts planned for this week but with all the chaos I didn't get a chance to edit & hit publish. I suspect that pattern will continue for the next few days while I figure out the details of the move. Things are a bit overwhelming but I'm trusting that everything will work out God is in the details. I'll find a place to live that is near work, has parking, in a safe part of town and affordable. Everything is happening pretty fast but it's all good things! I just need to keep reminding myself to breathe and enjoy the experience. 

Brave

Happy New Year Friends! I am can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for me and my blog. 

I'm starting off 2014 with another edition of The Girl Between the Lines link up with Hayley & Lauren. The prompt for this week is the question, "What is one thing you will do differently in 2014? Why do you want to change that one thing?" 

My answer to this question is simple. I want to be brave. 

It sounds simple enough. But even just typing the word brave increases my anxiety. Being brave means taking risks, stepping outside my comfort zone, trying new things, saying yes, not making excuses. Being brave is everything I am not. I like to play safe, I know the boundaries of my comfort zone, I'm happy with routines and sometimes declining a social event because "I have family stuff" really means "I would rather watch DVDs in my sweat pants because I don't really know anyone else who will be there." 

I've been thinking a lot about Texas over the past week and the more I think about it the more I am able to talk myself into the idea of going. And if it the camp in Texas doesn't work out, I'm opening up more and more to taking the plunge and moving somewhere exciting for a few months or a year. And the more I open up to it the more panicked I get, because moving is stressful. And there are so many logistical things to figure out, working visas, making enough money to live in wherever place plus pay student loans and other bills, making new friends, not getting murdered...

In the middle of it all I also remind myself that not so long ago an 18 year old me went off to university hundreds of miles away from home without knowing anybody. And that worked out pretty well. I have no idea why 23 (almost 24) year old me can't seem to make a similar leap of faith. If I did it then I can do it now. 

In the past five years my faith in God has only gotten stronger, I'm certainly more mature than I was at 18, in some ways I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin, I have a much better understand of what I want in life and yet I'm so scared to make any major changes. Which when I think about it is a waste. I fully admit to being  unhappy with my single-ness. If life was going according to my plan at this point in my life I would either be a newly wed with plans to become a mom very soon or I would at least be in a very serious/committed relationship and making plans to spend the rest of our lives together. That's not where I am though. I'm single. And being single means that right now in this moment, in this big picture my only real responsibility is myself. When I make decisions I don't have to consider how it will affect my husband, I don't have to turn down opportunities because I want my children to go to a certain school or be near their grandparents. I am one. 

So in 2014 I'm going to be brave. I'm going to choose adventure, step outside my comfort zone and use this season of singleness to its fullest potential because someday (hopefully) I'll be a wife and mother with responsibilities that don't allow me to pick up and move to Texas if I so desire. And I'll be happy then, but I also need to be truly happy now. And in order for me to be happy I need to make some changes and all of those changes require me to be brave. 

Faith, Fun & Food on Friday

{one}

I blogged back here about how much I love words of affirmation, usually I get all my word lovin' during the summer months at camp where writing "warm fuzzies" is a widely accepted & enjoyed activity. During the fall/winter/spring I rely on reading through old warm fuzzies, random messages from friends and of course your sweet blog comments! This week however I got the best surprise in my mailbox. A letter from a girl who was in the youth group I helped lead during university. We hadn't really kept in touch over the past year and although I think of her fondly I wouldn't say we were overly close during my time with the group. I never would have guessed I made any sort of impact on her life. I won't share the contents of the letter but it made me tear up and reminded me that even when we don't know we're making a difference it someone's life, we are. 

{two}

Speaking of youth and making a difference, yesterday I did something brave. I e-mailed a Christian camp in Texas to inquire about employment opportunities they have from September-April. It may not sound like a big leap of faith, but I've always said I'd love to experience living in the south and that I'd love to travel and work at larger Christian camp while I'm young. I've never taken any steps to make this happen though, because it's scary. Yesterday though I was browsing camps, (which is a pretty common activity for me) and I came across this particular camp and I just got this feeling. I can't explain it really, but it was just a huge push to send an e-mail. Even if nothing comes from the e-mail it's a step.

{three}

I've been re-watching Dawson's Creek lately, hands down one of my all time favourite shows since I first started watching in jr.high. I think it speaks volumes about how much I've changed/grown as a person that once upon a time I was a die-hard Dawson & Joey fan. There was just no other option. And now at the ripe old age of 23 (almost 24), I get it. Team Pacey & Joey all the way. I am embarrassed that I was ever 'attracted' to the whiney, dramatic and all together annoying Dawson Leery. 

{four}

Psalm 25 has been on my mind & heart a lot lately. I'm not exactly sure why but it started with a thought about footprints, steps and paths which lead to me read the entire Psalm and as I read with my Bible on my lap, highlighter in hand I couldn't decide what part to highlight, it all just feels so relevant right now. 

Especially verse 5 as it's written in The Message:  

Take me by the hand;Lead me down the path of truth.You are my Savior, aren’t you?Psalm 25:5 (The Message)

I am little to no idea what my plans are for 2014. It's incredibly scary, stressful and worrisome but it's also kind of exhilarating. Even if I don't know what my plans are, God does.

{five}

Ending things on a lighter note, it's officially Candy Cane Hot Chocolate here in Canada. And during last weekend's road trip to the City I discovered the amazingness that is the Gingerbread Donut. As depressing as it is not to have unlimited access to Vanilla Coke, cheap clothes and Trader Joe's Tim Horton's kind of makes up for what's lacking. If I could figure out a way to stock up on gingerbread donuts and keep them all year round I would be a happy person. And on a related note, putting egg nog in coffee is also one of the tastiest treats of the season! If you haven't tried it yet, make it happen. I usually just drink coffee with sugar and no milk/cream but once egg nog goes on the shelf I'm all over it. 

Linking up here! 

Short & Sweet Friday Five

{one}

I originally planned to go "Black Friday" shopping today...but then I ended up babysitting all day. I'm a little disappointed, at the same time there's nothing I needed and I'm confident there will still be plenty of stuff at the mall tomorrow or the first of next week. 

{two}

More Secret Boards on Pinterest!!!! I'm so excited about this, I wasn't expecting it and don't think I did anything special to make it happen, but when I signed into Pinterest I had 3 more Secret Boards! 

{three}

There is nothing I am more excited about right now than pyjamas, a pile of blankets and either obscure documentaries or reruns of Dawson's Creek/Friends and sleep. Also maybe some yoga and a hot water bottle. My Friday night plans are the envy of all.

{four}

At some point during my internet travels this week I came across this 30 Days of Prayer. I've done different prayer stations and Spiritual Practices workshops with youth groups and camp over the years but they've mostly been all at once kind of a deal. I like the idea of focusing on a different type of prayer each day! I think I may take the challenge on for December, modifying it slightly because I'm not Catholic. Has anyone else done this before? 

{five}

I'm struggling to stay awake right now...it's 7 p.m. I need to keep myself awake for at least 3 more hours before it's an acceptable bedtime. Maybe more like 2 and a half. 

God Wiped My Hard Drive

Today was a rough day. 

I went to pick up my MacBook and the guy informed me that he couldn't salvage anything off the hard drive. He started trying to transfer some basic files over but then it really quit and there was nothing else he could do. Not the end of the world, 90% of the stuff that was on there is either pretty easy to replace or not of any value. The other 10% was the last pictures of my old camp. I have some hardcopies but not all of them. 

I thought I'd make myself feel a little better by getting the first Candy Cane Hot Chocolate of the season from Tim Horton's. Except that that particular story hadn't received their CCHC supplies yet. I must have looked absolutely heartbroken because the lady taking my order kept apologizing and suggested a regular hot chocolate with a mint shot and whip cream on top. I agreed and although it was a pretty good substitute it just wasn't the exact pick me up I was anticipating.

Made it home and went to quickly check my e-mail on my phone before I assessed the laptop situation. I was hoping for nice blog comments or something along those lines to boost my mood. Instead I got an e-mail that was kind of passive-aggressive and annoyed from someone who I've had a lot of patience with and done a lot for lately, but they needed something done ASAP. I took a deep breath before replying as sweetly as possible that I would make some calls first thing tomorrow morning and see what I could do for them. Then I took a lot more deep breaths.

Decided to evaluate the laptop situation but when I went to sign in it wouldn't accept my password. I didn't get too concerned and figured the guy had just changed it called him up and explained the problem...after a few minutes of discussion he realized that what must have happened was when he tried to move the basic files from the old hard drive to the new one it got as far as my User ID and profile picture (as well as my password hint) but didn't register the actual password...I'll be making a return trip tomorrow afternoon so he can work some magic and restore it to factory settings. 

I tried to find the humour in the whole situation by reminding myself that I've been praying a lot lately for change and a fresh start. God wiped my hard drive, voila fresh start.

Pinterest

On that note I am going to take a long hot shower, get into to some jogging pants and treat myself to a Vanilla Coke while watching The Princess Bride. 

And take some more deep breaths. Lots and lots of deep breaths. 

I Believe

I believe...

The best stories come from the worst situations.

God can do anything. 

Naps have magical healing powers.

Camp is my calling.

A good caffeinated beverage can make any situation better. 

Prayer is powerful.

Everything happens for a reason. 

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they interact with kids & animals.

Small acts of kindness can lead to big changes.

Hot showers are therapeutic.

People are happiest when they do what they love.

Folding fitted sheets is a task created by the devil.

Rain is a good thing.

The Princess Bride is the perfect movie.

Pocahontas is the best Disney movie.

God has a sense of humour.

Forgiveness gets harder the longer you wait.

Stargazing is good for the soul.

Modern Family is overrated.

Meerkats are one of the most adorable creatures on earth.

Jogging pants are the best pants.

linking up here

#onebigtruth Thankful Thursday

Today I'm participating in a really neat link up with some amazing bloggers who are sharing what God has done in their lives. At first I wasn't sure I had anything really worthy of blogging about, so many bloggers have incredible stories of God's faithfulness through infertility, singleness, adoption...and I'm still waiting on things. There are a million little things I am thankful for each done, but compared to others my story seems insignificant. Then I had an 'ah-ah' moment and realized that is my story. I may not have a big story right now, but that doesn't mean I won't. God is always working in my life. His timing is perfect. Some days I get discouraged and think that I need to give up on my dreams and than I'm asking for too much. Then I remember that I'm not. God can do anything, even more than I can dream. It just might take some time. Which means the first thing I'm thankful for today is that nothing is hopeless or impossible with God.

 

                  

 

On a lighter note I am thankful for the cheesecake that is in my fridge. As soon as I finish this post I am going to make myself a cup of tea, light a candle and do some reading while I enjoy every delicious bite.

 

I'm thankful for a stack of books in my to-read pile that I am finally getting around to reading.

 

I'm already thankful for the homemade pizzas I plan on making for supper.

 

I'm thankful for friends who ask "how was your day" instead of "what's up?".

 

I'm thankful for last minute babysitting opportunities, which leads to extra money, which is always nice.

 

I'm thankful for hot cups of coffee on chilly autumn mornings.

 

 

 





Friday Five

 

{one}

I am super excited for this weekend! I'm the one doing the traveling but it is well worth ever second of the drive to spend the weekend with one of my best camp friends!

{two}

The only thing I love more than a good love story is a love story that invovles camp. Which is probably why this story in the NY Times this week made me smile so much. 

 {three}

I seriously love Luke Bryan's new album. I've been cycling through which song is my favourite, currently it's this one.

{four}

Still no word on grant money to make my job full-time...I was really hoping there would be some news by the end of this week but no such luck! I am doing my very best to have patience and trust in God's timing.

{five} 
I've been thinking a lot about this quote recently. I don't necessarily agree with it 100% but it reminds me of someone and there's just something in my head that keeps coming back to it.
 

Thankful Thursday

Via Pinterest

 

 

Today I am Thankful for...

A new iTunes playlist ready for tomorrow's road trip

Crisp autumn air

New seasons of How I Met Your Mother, Survivor, The Middle, Grey's Anatomy, The Amazing Race & Criminal Minds

 Memories

Spicy Chicken Pizza

Buzzfeed, Thought Catalog and blogs that keep me inspired and entertained

Yoga

Wool Socks, Leggings, Hoodies & Baseball Hats

Encouraging messages from friends

Freshly painted nails

Instagram & Snapcat

God Moments

Sweet Dreams

Faith

Joy 

5 Years

This is my favourite picture of myself. There's nothing special about the photo itself, but it's all about the moment. I didn't know the photo was being taken until I was tagged in it on Facebook a few days later. In this moment I was standing at the Vespers Spot at the camp I grew up at, something I'm sure I did hundreds, maybe thousands of times over the 10 years I was a camper and volunteer there. What makes this moment important is it was the last time I would ever stand there. Due to a series of unfortunate events that started with the person who formally owned the land camp was on passing away without a will and ended with some relative of his voiding the lease and deciding to sell the land. Yesterday I didn't really talk about specific struggles, but this photo captures what has been one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. I have no idea why God would make/let that chain of events happen, especially to a place where so many campers, counsellors and volunteers found God among the trees and heard Him most clearly standing in the field. But He did. And now what used to be my favourite place on earth, the place where I learned the most about myself and life is in the process of becoming a subdivision. 

It's been five years since this all happened and it still hurts. Every time I drive by the sign advertising lots for sale I either tear up or am overcome with anger. For the sake of my sanity I have to believe with all my heart that there is an amazing reason for why this happened, I don't know it yet, and maybe I never will, but there's a reason. We tried to run the camp program by renting another camp for a few weeks each summer but two years ago the committee made the decision to end that as well. And that hurts too. I miss it every single day, and although there I things I love about my new/current camp, it's not the same.

I am thankful that I did get 10 amazing years there. Without camp I have no idea what I'd be doing right now, camp is so much a part of who I am, and that particularly camp will always remain one of the most important foundations of my life.

Perspective

Today's prompt is to write about our lot in life, something difficult that we are working to overcome. 

And again, because I've been assured the blogging police aren't going to come knockin' on my door, I'm going to pass. It's not that I've had it easy, but in the whole scheme of the world I've had it pretty good. I've always had a house, bed, food, more clothes than necessary, parents...up until the age of 15 I had all four grandparents and 3 great-grandparents. I've mentioned before that I'm a recovering pessimist and spending time complaining about things that are out of my control just doesn't seem healthy. I'm not judging anyone that de-stresses after a long day or stressful situation by complaining to their best friend, if that's what works for you, go for it! But that's not me. 

Yes, I've had bad things happen, and sometimes I get incredibly sooky that the plan I had in my head isn't what's happening. Everyday I'm getting better about really trusting God and knowing that the rough spots happen for a reason. Surviving the rough spots makes you stronger and I'm thankful for opportunities to grow and learn.

On that note I need to get ready, head to town and pick up a few last things I need for camp. Come home and finish packing in time to enjoy tonight's Grey's Anatomy finale! Friday I'm off to Girl Guide camp for the night and then Sunday is a 6-7 hour drive to camp! I'm not sure what blogging will look like once I get to camp. I really want to keep up with it, but it's going to be somewhat dependent on the internet situation. Last summer we couldn't get the wi-fi router to install on the office computer because it was too old. This summer there is a new computer in the office so fingers crossed! Not that I will spending any great amount of time on the internet, it's just nice to be able to publish posts and stay somewhat connected during the summer.