Word of the Week January

If you've been reading around here for awhile than you probably already know about my 2017 system of 'Words of the Week'. If you're new around here I'll get you up to speed. Instead of choosing One Little Word for the year, I chose 52 words. One for every week of the year. When I decided to use this strategy I didn't really know what it was going to look like and even a month in it's still evolving.

I choose my word (from this list) on Saturday or Sunday. I don't have any particular strategy for choosing a word. I pick whatever one happens to be speaking to me or a word that I think might relate to the week ahead. Then I search for a quote to go along with that word. It's a simple way of reflecting on the words and figuring out how I want to focus on it for that week.

I write my word and quote in the sidebar of my planner so that I see it everyday. 

For the first week of the year I choose the word abide and a quote that reminded me that when things are confusing and uncertain faith remains. And abiding in that faith that things will improve or work out the way they are supposed to is the best way for me to handle the unknown. It ended up being good motivation to take a few leaps and trust where I felt God was leading me. It was a good way to start the year. 

Thanks to some of those leaps I chose flow as my word for the second week of the year. As in, go with the flow. Little did I know that just when I thought I had a plan for how things were going to go I was an offered an interview with an organization that I had applied for weeks ago and wasn't expecting to hear anything from. And so plans sort of changed but I went with the flow. It was the perfect word for the week and even though I didn't have any particular reason to choose it 'flow' was exactly the thing I need to focus on that week. 

Last week I chose spark. I thought it would be a fun word for my birthday week because I associate sparks with candles and the beginning of something. It ended up being the word I connected with the least. I'm not sure if it was because I had other things going on that week but I wasn't feeling it. Possibly one of the best things about this Word of the Week strategy is the ability to let go of a word when you're not connecting to it the way you had hoped.

This week I'm embracing joy. This was a very conscious choice because I'm expecting to hear back about that job interview this week. And regardless of the outcome I want to choose joy. There's not a lot of excitement happening in my life right now and it's impossible to make plans when I'm never entirely sure if there will be an interview (or a job) around the corner. So my focus is choosing to find joy in all circumstances. Just because the situation may not be joyful, doesn't mean there's not joy in there somewhere. 

Originally I had thought about making a 6x8 album to document my words but I realized that wasn't something I wanted to commit to doing all year. So for now my words are documented in my planner and in my journal. I'm not really creating any rules around my words, I might continue to choose a quote for the week but I might not. My only requirement for myself is to choose a word for the week. So far I haven't wanted to carry on a word from one week to the next but I'm not ruling out the possibility of that happening. 

If you chose a word for the year are you sticking with it or has the initial enthusiasm wore off?

Patience Makes Pancakes

Last week a friend sent me this story:

I have no idea where it came from but I'm a big fan. And I've been mulling it over in my head since she first shared it with me. I've never been good at the whole 'wait and see' thing. I want to know what happens next so I can make plans accordingly. But for the last however many months life has been one huge 'wait and see' moment. And I am not a fan. The process of filling out applications, sending resumes & cover letters here, there and everywhere. Making it to secondary rounds, being offered interviews and then hitting a dead end feels like mixing together all the ingredients, discovering you're short a tablespoon of lard and tossing the whole thing in the trash. 

Last night I was making pancakes for supper because I forgot to take anything else out of the freezer. And as I stood over the stove waiting to see the batter bubble so I could flip it to the other side I was reminded of the biscuit story. Even if you have all the right ingredients the oven still needs to be set at the right temperature. And you need to keep things cooking until it's finished, nobody wants a pancake that isn't cooked the whole way through. 

Coincidently, yesterday I was also offered an interview for my 'pancake job', the job I applied for because I had most of the ingredients even if it wasn't my favourite food. The deadline for applications was three weeks ago and I assumed that since I hadn't heard anything it meant that I wouldn't be, which I wasn't surprised about. Again, most of the ingredients but not all and it was a very quick "search & replace" job for a few words on my cover letter. 

This most recent development also coincides with my decision to re-consider leaving my current camp. Less than a week ago I sent an e-mail to the organization explaining that my job search hadn't gone well and I may still be interested in my usual seasonal contract unless something changed. I was making peace with the idea that my work at that particular camp yet wasn't done yet and the universe was making sure I was put back there. I still had/have a lot of reservations though and wasn't entirely confident I was making the right choice. 

Now I find myself staring at two completed recipes and only enough room in the oven to bake one of them. And I'm waiting to see what the universe wants me to make. If I get a job offer from this interview then I will happily enjoy biscuits after being given a lot of plain flour over the last few months. There are a lot of benefits to it, the biggest ones being it wouldn't involve moving to the city and it's full time, year round and permanent. And if I don't get the job offer then that will be the confirmation that I need to go back to camp. 

So stay tuned because either way there is a glimmer of light (and a plate of snacks) at the end of this tunnel. 

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Epiphany Friday Favourites

It's been an odd start to the year, but I think things are (finally) headed in a good direction!

{one}

I'm going to be a little 'cryptic blogger' right now because even though I've tentatively started wandering down another path I'm not sure how it will all play out. I do know that even if it's not at all what I had in mind six months ago it feels right. And yesterday I came across this verse which kind of gave me goosebumps.

{two}

I bought Savor last year but it was March by the time it arrived and even though I would occasionally read a few pages here and there I never made a habit of it. This year I got to start from the beginning on January 1st and it's become one of my favourite parts of the day. 

{three}

Over the course of the last week I've lost track of how many eagles I've seen. During my drive home from H. & R. on Monday I spotted at least six (maybe two more but they also might have been seagulls) and yesterday I saw another one while I was driving. Eagles aren't necessarily a rare sighting around here, but close to a dozen in one week is out of the ordinary. Since one of my intentions for 2017 was to listen to the universe I'm going to go ahead and be encouraged that eagle sightings are often interpreted as a sign of new beginnings, stamina and courage. 

{four}

Monday R. & I went on an adventure and checked out a local bird sanctuary that I sort of knew existed but have never actually investigated. Turns out there are all kinds of hiking trails, friendly chickadees that will eat from your hand and so many squirrels. At one point I was standing on the trail and there were eight squirrels surrounding me. It was magical. I felt like a Disney princess.

{five}

I got the last of my 2016 photos printed yesterday so I'm excited to spend the weekend adding the final few pages to my Project Life album and getting started on 2017. I love that I've found a memory keeping system that works for me. When I counted a few weeks ago I had close to 100 completed pages! Do you know how many pages I have completed for 2015? None. I have one large Smashbook  from the summer but that's it. I don't think I'll ever be a retro-active scrapbooker but I'm happy that I have a system moving forward!

Hymn #674

Last week when I had my interview they told me I would hear from them early in the week about the second round of interviews. Monday and Tuesday have gone by and I haven't heard a word good or bad, so I'm not really sure where that leaves me. I do know that I've had "In The Bulb There Is A Flower" stuck in my head since Monday evening when it started snowing. All day yesterday and so far today the familiar lyrics have been on repeat:

In the bulb there is a flower,

In the seed, an apple tree,

In cocoons a hidden promise:

Butterflies will soon be free!

In the cold and snow of winter,

There's a spring that waits to be,

Unrevealed until it's season,

Something God alone can see. 

Maybe it's because it's a catchy song. Maybe it's because the song is a lullaby of sorts, I don't remember ever learning it but it was a staple of camp Christian Education time and vespers services. The lyrics were written in magic marker on chart paper above the piano in our main building complete with little doodles of tulips and apple trees. Whatever the reason it's a comforting song to be playing on repeat when I'm in the middle of season with more questions than answers. Just wandering around the proverbial forest setting off down different paths only to discover they're all dead ends. 

And as much as I appreciate a good adventure and generally enjoy the scenic route I'm kind of over it. I don't want to "savour my season" or "embrace the unknown" or "enjoy the journey" because those things are all fine for a while but regardless of how much fun you're having on vacation you always want to get back to your own bed eventually. 

While everyone is busy admiring the twinkle lights, eagerly awaiting watching their littles opening presents on Christmas morning and starting to set goals for 2017 I'm refreshing my e-mail every hour (that may sound a lot but it's an improvement over every 15 minutes) and wondering if somewhere along the line I took the wrong exit and am doomed to wander around the wrong forest forever. 

My goal, wish, objective, intent...purpose in life is to have a permanent, full time camp job. Anything past that is a bonus. 

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Three Things of Friday

This week felt LONG.

There were a lot of bright spots though so let's celebrate some of them.

{one}

Groundhog Day! I love a day dedicated to celebrating little critters. Especially when it's little critters who are supposed to be forecasting the weather. And the official groundhog for my area predicted an early spring, which is an added bonus. The groundhogs above are the ones that live at camp, not the the ones responsible for predicting the weather around here.

{two}

I broke down and ordered Savor, it should be here by next week! It's been on my radar for awhile but I wasn't completely sure I wanted to invest. After reading through a ton of reviews on Goodreads and seeing that it was on sale for $15 online I went ahead and ordered. According to online tracker it should be here by the end of next week.

{three}
I keep forgetting that it's Super Bowl weekend. I can honestly say I have never watched a football game, I've seen glimpses on highlight reels and occasionally J. will turn the game on when we're together but I can handle it for about five minutes before I demand we find something else to watch. I can appreciate the snacks though...if someone wants to invite me over to spend six hours eating various dips and appetizers I can totally get on board.

I really thought I had more than three things to say about this week, but I'm drawing a blank. And I really need to eat some breakfast. Maybe next week my blog game will improve.

Warm and Fuzzy Friday Favourites

{one}

I got this e-mail from a parent on Monday evening and it made my day/week. Parents are often the hardest/worst part of working with kids. To a certain extent, I get it, you want your kids to be happy. Sometimes the 'helicopter' parent thing takes over and it's just not good. So getting this e-mail was the greatest. I like when parents are happy, when parents are happy their kids stay involved and that makes me happy. You know that saying "happy wife, happy life"? Well I'm a believer in "happy parents, happy program". You might not be able to please them all but life sure is easier when you can. 

{two}

Someone posted this verse on Instagram this week and it stuck with me. 

{three}

I had a bunch of photos of flowers and bees from this summer and I wasn't sure how to incorporate them into my album. They were too pretty not to use...but they also stuck out like a sore thumb next to action shots of soccer baseball and chaotic cabin photos. And then I happened to be searching my blog archives for something and came across a post from earlier in the summer when I shared the quote about the bees. And realized it worked perfectly because on the next page is a bunch of photos of people doing chores, moving furniture and working around camp. Memory keeping makes me happy. 

{four}

CBC

This article. I don't know either of these people but it's the cutest thing I've read all week. I'm rarely interested in elaborate wedding details and the process of how people begin their relationships is often kind of murky. Engagement stories are usually very clear cut, it's a moment in time when something very specific happens and is usually very unique. So this story gave me all the warm fuzzies this week. I hope they serve french fries at their wedding.  

I only have four favourites this week, I'm sure if I tried really hard I could come up with a fifth, but I don't want to and I'd rather choose four really awesome favourites opposed to four really awesome favourites and one thing that I kind of liked about this week. 

Somehow I've managed to find myself without any plans this weekend. I'm sure I'll figure out something but it's also nice to enter the weekend without any commitments! 

Linking up here & here with all of the other ladies in blogland celebrating Friday!

Apples to Apples

I am  kind of in love with the apples growing on one of the trees in our yard. The branches seem to catch the afternoon sunlight just so and from a distance they look like the most delicious apples in the world. Of course once you get closer they don't look quite so charming but still pretty enough for a picture (or seventeen). 

Thinking back to summer, I came across this post earlier in the week. A mother's letter to her child's camp counsellor.  It's been awhile since I read something that so purely and genuinely expresses camp from a parent and camper's perspective. And I love coming across these types of things. It's hard for first year counsellors to really wrap their heads around the idea that despite their feelings of self-consciousness and self-doubt in their peer group the campers that they interact with don't see them as anything but amazing. It reminds me that it's the little things in life that our worth our admiration. 

All of this apple tree admiration and new beginnings had me thinking a lot about John 15:5 - "I am the vine. You are the branches. Those who live in me while I live in them will produce a lot of fruit. But you can't produce anything without me." That's been my food for thought (no pun intended) for this week. And it's been a good reminder to stay connected to God and everyone else in my life. And that connected involves a lot of different things - writing, texting, listening, speaking, sharing, forgiving, trusting, hoping. If we're going to make an effort to stay connected to our world and ourselves we need to be willing to put in some serious effort.

It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. As usual I'm thankful for all the everyday blessings - food, healthcare, family, shelter, bed, heat, electricity, wifi and a closet full of clothes for all seasons. Sunday we're having Thanksgiving with my family and Monday with J.'s so I've got a full weekend ahead. And I'm pretty thankful for all that fullness. 

Blogtember 2015: Wise Words

Pinterest 

The first time I heard this quote I was in a church basement. I was a youth group leader and our group was participating in a two week mission project in our community. I learned a lot and experienced a lot during that time but the thing that stuck with me the most is this quote. "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." Let that sink in for just a minute. It seems to me that a lot of people think that in order to do answer God's call they have to struggle and sacrifice and be unhappy. The reality is that is not the case. Yes, sometimes we struggle and make sacrifices, but God wants us to be happy! He has given each of us unique talents, passions and goals because each of us has a unique plan for each of us that requires the perfect combination of a whole lot of things. When we're following a call it's easy to focus on the struggles and completely lose sight of the big picture. The realized dream and accomplished goal mean more than what we've "missed". 

I often relate this to camp. If given the choice between relaxing on a beach or spending the day at camp, I'd chose camp every time. I don't think I'm missing out on summer. It's okay that camp isn't going to make me a millionaire, the "sacrifice" of living on a budget isn't really a sacrifice when it means I'm working at camp. Doing what makes me happy, what brings me deep gladness is exactly what God has called me to do.

Linking up with Blogtember.

Blogtember 2015: Five Books

I love reading and I've shared my love of reading quite a few times here on the blog. Today's Blogtember prompt is to write about the five books that have impacted your life the most. It's a question that I needed to think long and hard about before coming up with an answer. I consider myself to be a rule follower, so after narrowing it down to seven I really tried to eliminate two and chose just five...but I couldn't make it happen. So I'm choosing seven books that have impacted my life the most.

Campingly Yours - Thomas C. Alder this was the first book I read that made me realize there were people out there like me who loved summer camp with every fibre of their being. It validated my passion in a way nobody/nothing else had before. It gave me a sense of belonging and a feeling of happiness. In many ways it solidified a life long passion for camp. I read it while I was still a counsellor, which for most people is the end of the line in terms of their love of camp, and this book motivated me to keep dreaming and stay determined that camp would be my career.

The Bible  This one is sort of self-explanatory, but only sort of. This particular Bible is the one I received as a 16 year old when I was an LIT. It was my first grown up Bible and it has guided me through a multitude of situations. I'm sure I could do an entire post (including photos) about the scribbles and doodles in the margins and the bookmarks and highlighted verses. I've used this Bible for a full 10 years and I love it dearly although I am ready to 'start a new Bible' so to speak and fill that one with prayer and praise. 

Seven - Jen Hatmaker  My first real foray into living with minimal 'stuff', it's somewhat ironic that I narrowed this question down to seven books. And if hard pressed these probably would be the seven books I'd choose to keep if I could only have seven! This book really stuck with me, I often think about choosing seven foods to eat or seven articles of clothing. It's a book I will re-read in multiple seasons of life and each time learn something new. 

The Fringe Hours - Jessica Turner Game changer. I'm an introvert who is notoriously bad at self care and making time for myself. How's that for a recipe for disaster? This is the most recent read to make the list but I still think it's deserving of a spot. I finished this just as I headed to camp for the summer and made several attempts to incorporate the fringe hours philosophy in my life. With varied levels of success I did find those fifteen minute windows during the day. I snapped sunset photos before counsellor meeting and shut my bedroom door for five minutes while I fixed my hair and applied sunscreen. This is another book I'll be re-reading and learning from again and again. 

Stargirl - Jerry Spinelli The first time I read this book I was in elementary school. It was a book and i enjoyed it but it wasn't until the beginning of high school when this book make it's impact. In high school I was very actively involved in drama and along with all of my best drama friends I acted in a stage adaptation of the book. It took on a whole new meaning as we spent a large portion of that year studying the book and learning our lines. It was some of the most fun I've ever had and I always think back fondly on the experience. Plus, it really is a great book. Stargirl and Leo are two of my favourite characters ever and there are so many life lessons hidden within the pages. 

These Happy Golden Years (Little House on The Prairie Series) - Laura Ingalls Wilder. This book belonged to my mom when she was a little girl. She found it one day when I was in grade three or four and gave it to me to read. Even though it's one of the last books in the Little House on the Prairie series it's the first one I read and the one that made me fall in love with Laura Ingalls. I was immediately consumed with interest for her and her life. I spent hours researching her and learning everything I could about her and the time period. It inspired me to write my own stories and when I wasn't researching Laura and her family I was creating my own pioneer families. I hope that someday I'll be able to pass along my Little House book collection to my daughter, as well as her grandmother's copy of These Happy Golden Years. 

The Princess Bride - William Goldman this book makes me happy, in some ways it probably could have gotten the cut in regards to how influential it's been in my life. I discovered it many years after I'd developed a strong love of reading and writing. I don't have many strong connections to reading this book, other than the fact I've re-read it countless times. It's another book I will pass along to any future children. It's a great movie, but the book is full of so many more details and added happiness. It's sort of my comfort book. I've read it times of crisis and times of peace, it's always there for me when I need a familiar read. 

Blogtember 2015: Life Snaps

Today's post, much like today's prompt, is going to be short and sweet. 

This season is full of reflection, change, choice and discernment. Figuring out how to make camp a career. Knowing that my hometown is where I want to live. Living away from my closest friends is challenging in so many ways but also an incredible experience. To know that distance is a number and  regardless of physical presence I have amazing friends who are there for me no matter what happens. This season has been spent on high alert for 'God Moments' and writing non-stop about what I'm seeing and feeling. This season is full. And most of the time I feel content and at peace with this moment in time. 

Blogtember Day 4: Passion

What are you passionate about?  It's a question some people struggle with for the entire life. I on the other hand sometimes struggle to choose just one (although if I had to pick #1 would be camp). All of my passions are intertwined though, together they build to guide and direct me through life. 

Camp is my ultimate passion in life. I love the atmosphere, the community, the tradition. I truly believe that there are two kinds of people in the world: Camp People and Non-Camp People. It shaped me in unfathomable ways into the person I am today and the person I will be 10 years from now. 

Disability Awareness/Inclusion. I have had the privilege of meeting and befriending so many smart, funny, happy and kind people who identify as having a disability. And it frustrates me that so many people in this world are overlooked because others don't take the time to communicate with them. There's a perception that people with disabilities need a lot of help. The reality is we all need a lot of help and just because someone uses a wheelchair or needs extra time to complete a task doesn't mean they need your sympathy. People are people and the world would be a much better place if everyone would treat each other with more kindness, respect and understanding. 

3E Love

Food. It breaks my heart that there are so many people have no idea where there next meal is coming from. And that the options they have are pre-packaged and almost void of nutritional value. Food education should be more of a focus in school and people shouldn't have to choose between buying 10 bags of chips or 1 bunch of carrots. On a more personal level I love cooking and baking and being able to provide healthy and tasty foods for the people around me. 

Children/Youth. It sounds lame but in all seriousness children/youth are the future. If they grow up surrounded by loving and supportive people and have their basic needs met (nutritious food, safe home etc.) then the world will become a better place. If children/youth don't have access to those things then bad things happen. I love camp and other extra-curriculour activities because it provides children/youth with so many opportunities to explore and grow in a safe, supportive environment.

Faith. I'm not sure how to expand on this or put it into words. My faith and trust in Good is crucial to my life and impacts my choices and interests.

Honourable mentions go to photography, writing, memory keeping, family and friends.

Camp Friday Favourites

{one}

Camp Sunsets.

I can almost guarantee camp sunsets will make an appearance on every single Friday Favourites/Friday Five List I make this summer. No further explanation required. 

{two}

J. stopped into camp for a quick visit on his way home from his sister's graduation Thursday. Long enough for me to give him a quick tour of camp, enjoy a meal at the diner close to camp and spend a few minutes reconnecting in person opposed to via technology. Plus he brought me Reese's Peanut Cups and our diner lunch involved Chicken Strips. I was a very happy girlfriend.

{three}

I've become very aware of the fact grocery shopping is my happy place. Being in the kitchen cooking makes me feel calm and relaxed and I love a trip to the grocery store. My big activity for the afternoon is going to be browsing the flyer, making a grocery list and slowly wandering through the aisles. My meals at camp are technically all taken care of by our camp cooks. But there are some times I don't like what's being served. (Shepherd's Pie is the devil as far as I'm concerned.) I like to have some individual freezer meals stashed away for those times and also for times when I just don't feel like eating grilled cheese for the hundredth time this summer. 

{four}

Speaking of food at camp...Clif Bars are going to be a saving grace this summer. I try to avoid the standard pre-packaged quaker type granola bars because it's basically like eating a chocolate bar. I realize the Clif Bars aren't super fantastic amazing food. I feel a little better about eating one of them though opposed to something else. Plus they taste amazing. I'm a big fan of the Chocolate Almond Fudge and Crunchy Peanut Butter. I can't see myself getting on board with Oatmeal Raisin Walnut or Blueberry Crisp. 

{five}

I'm not sure why I'm struggling to come up with a fifth favourite thing this week. There's certainly been lots of good moments. I'm looking forward to the summer. I feel like things are under control, the chaos is organized and the pieces are all falling in to place.

 

Prioritizing Balance

Three weeks ago I started making a list. Goals for this summer, things I wanted to prioritize and accomplish between May 17 (first day of camp) and August 25 (last day of camp). Yesterday I got out the list intending to rewrite it and make it pretty enough to hang on my wall. As I started reading through the list trying to decide what size paper to use, debating between stickers and cricut cut outs I had a realization. I read through the list top to bottom, skimming the notes I'd written in the margins and between parentheses. Carefully thought about the reasoning behind the goals and what it would look like to accomplish them all. I realized I was asking too much.

Read. (something unrelated to work 15-30 minutes each day)

Write. (every second day blog post, creative writing, poetry etc.)

Photography. (10-15 minutes a day take photos of the ordinary) .

Quiet Time. (minimum half an hour before bed each day and/or half an hour first thing in the morning)

Journal. (Everyday!!!)

Meditate/Pray.

Sleep. (8-9 hours every night)

Wake Up Early. (15-30 minutes before all camp wake up time)

Go To Bed Early. (Before 11:00 p.m. every night)

Eat Balanced Meals. (3 full meals a day OR 5-6 well thought out/balanced/planned/healthy snacks)

Stay Hydrated. (1.5 litres water each day, limit pop to once or twice per week, limit coffee to 2 cups max per day)

My job is demanding. There are many long hours and unpredictable situations. My self care and mental health needs to be a priority, but sometimes it's not the first priority. I know that going in and part of what I love about my job is the chaos, you just never know what the day will bring. 

There will be days when the only thing I read is e-mails, the only thing I write is an incident report and the thought of capturing a moment on camera doesn't even cross my mind.

There will be days when the only Quiet Time I have is the 15 10 5 minute shower I rush through before someone else needs the bathroom. I won't have time to work though my thoughts on paper and it's entirely possible I'll fall asleep before I even finish reciting The Lord's Prayer. 

There will be days when I stay up late working on props for an elaborate theme day followed by mornings when I'm up early to get a head start on setting up an activity. And there will be nights when comforting a homesick camper takes priority over my sleep.

There will be days when I reach for the coffee pot or crack open a can of Coke instead of re-filling my water bottle. And I might find myself collapsing into bed after a hectic day only to realize the only thing I had to eat all day was a bagel, a granola bar, a handful of chips and 6 cups of coffee.

If I was talking with another camp person I would never expect them to have it all together like that. And if they told me they worked and lived on site during the summer and did all those things I wouldn't believe them. Or I would assume they spent all day accomplishing their personal goals and zero time doing their job. 

Life is about balance.

When I take a big step back my goal for this summer is really all about balance. Taking care of myself so that I can do my best work. And not expecting my best work to always be Pinterest worthy. This summer the list of goals on my bedroom door won't make me feel guilty or inadequate. Instead they'll serve as a a reminder and as encouragement to use my time wisely and make the best choices available. And when I do have a "bad" day there will still be things that I did well. And every day is a fresh start to make a few more choices and do the best I can to balance it all. 

It's A Fine, Fine Life {2}

I am so excited to be joining Allie again this week to celebrate some of life's finest things. 

There were many moments this winter when I looked outside and burst into tears because there was 5 feet of snow on the ground, it was snowing, it was cold and there was nothing but snow and cold in the forecast. The four days I've woken up to sunshine. SUNSHINE! I have my windows open, there are birds chirping outside. Spring has arrived!

I could go off into some sort of deep theology moment here about how long the winter was and how frustrated, tired and hopeless I felt the snow would ever start to melt. Now that the snow is melting and the sky is blue I feel such a relief and overwhelming gratitude that spring is here. I'm sure there's a parallel there about waiting and having hope and remembering that everything has a season.

I'm thankful for seasons in all aspects of life. Weather, relationships, interests, struggles, work, family. Everything has a season, some are definitely better than others but I there is a reason for each of them. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Tuesday Talk: Bookshelf Edition

I've always been a reader. You can read about some of my favourite books in this post and there have been a lot of other mentions about my favourite books over the lifespan of this blog. 

Once my contract is over for work I'm planning on doing some serious reading. So it seems fitting to do another post about what books I've got waiting on my bookshelf. I'm especially looking forward to reading in the sunshine while J. & I are on vacation next month. So far I have three books that I will definitely be packing but I'd like to add a fourth. I'm a pretty fast reader and J. is planning on playing a few rounds of golf which will be guaranteed reading time. I'd rather have one extra than one too few!

First up is The Fringe Hours.

I have really high expectations for this book. I first heard about it in blogland and I've read multiple reviews that really sing it's praises. With summer approaching and camp life looming making time for me is something I desperately need to improve on this year. I'm hoping that this book will really inspire me to make me time a priority. 

Second is Wonder courtsey of the lovely Elizabeth over at This Savvy Life. 

Elizabeth sent me this book as part of the Galentine's Day Swap I participated in through The Blogging Elite and I'm looking forward to having a lighter but not too light of a read after I finish The Fringe Hours. I love young adult books like this one that are pre-teen/teen friendly and have a really good message. I'm so excited to read this that it just might get bumped into first place ahead of The Fringe Hours!

Lastly (for now) is Kin. 

I adore Lesley Crewe's books and this one has a lot of really positive reviews. I'm anticipating the other two books leaving me with lots to think about long after the last page is turned. With this one I know I'll love it, but when it's over, it's over. It might be a book that I re-read a few times but I'm not anticipating it to leave a deep lasting impact.

I'd love to add a few more books to my must reads list. What books have you been talking about lately? 

Big Things

The past week has been a whirlwind of happens. I've written before about how God Moves Fast and I always say that more often than not everything happens all at once, this week has been no exception to that rule. The grant officially ended Friday and I hadn't heard back from any of the local jobs I had applied for, only things out of province. Then on Wednesday morning I got a call saying that someone had quit at the last minute and they needed someone who could begin training that evening. So I said yes and went from being almost unemployed to accepting a really great job offer. 

Since then I've experienced countless moments and coincidences of perfection that leave me with an almost overwhelming feeling that I have no idea what God is up to but He is working on big things. The signs I've prayed for seem to be popping up all over the place and leading me in the right direction. Have I mentioned the new job offer is also a contract, that ends in March (with a possible extension to April), which is of course perfect timing for camp. 

I'm not delusional enough to believe that just because in this moment it feels as though God is planning on brining me back to camp this summer. All of these happenings are really just reminding me to pay attention to my surroundings. Listen, watch, feel, observe the world around me. I am excited about the things that I'm sure are going to appear over the next few months. Not all of them will be good, but God's plan is good and I trust His plan.

(Even if it's kind of scary.)

Confession Time

This is the logic I used yesterday morning when I was deciding what to eat for breakfast - "I don't really want to make anything, there aren't any bagels or English muffins…we have peanut butter cookies…people eat peanut butter on toast…eating a peanut butter cookie for breakfast is just as acceptable as eating peanut butter on toast."

The Little People Big World family drive me nuts. I used to really enjoy watching the show but like so many other TLC shows it totally went downhill and now I kind of watch to punch them all in the face.

I love the Duggars their beliefs fascinate me but I just don't understand not kissing/holding hands before marriage but saying "I love you". I don't know much about love but I think the physical side of things is just as crucial as the emotional side. Andy why on earth did Jim Bob hire Ben as his personal assistant?! Am I the only one that finds that a little weird?

My room is being painted tomorrow which means I'm being kicked out of it which I realize is for the greater good because my room will be painted but I like having my own space. Not having my own space for a day or two is going to make me one cranky lady.

I have a bruise on my chin because I tripped on my computer cord and hit my face off the plastic drawers beside my bed. It hurts when I touch it and I feel ridiculous for bruising my chin.

Time and time again I get myself all stressed out and worried and panic and doubt God…and then He pulls though and then I feel guilty because I should know better than to doubt Him. 

Someone on my Facebook posted a selfie this week with the caption "job interview" and someone else commented "you look smokin' hot!"…was it wrong of me to judge them? Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think "smokin' hot"is the look you should be going for when you're being interview. 

It's been a long time since I've had more than one cup of coffee a day, I usually have a cup in the morning and then drink tea in the afternoon and evening, but today for some reason I am craving a second cup. And I will probably give in to the craving. 

I have no idea what Gone Girl is about and why I'm supposed to be interested in it. 

And last, but not least. I am not excited for fall. I do not care about pumpkin spice. I demand summer. I like flip flops and bonfires and sunny days and green grass. Maybe my opinion of fall would be different if I lived in a place where summer was hotter and fall had a more refreshing feel but here in the east cost fall just means it's about to be winter. And I hate winter. 

Open & Close

Summer is my favourite season. I look forward to the first day when the sun feels warm and the grass is noticeably green. I love the first week or so at camp when the days start off foggy and cool but then gradually become warm. The span of time when daylight starts at 5:00 a.m. and lasts until almost 10:00 p.m.. August is my favourite month because it has the perfect balance of hot days and evenings that are warm enough to be outside but cool enough to fall asleep. 

When I look back on this summer I'll think about the enormous potential and possibility I felt in May. Laughing and hypothosising with H. & R. about what was ahead. Which new counsellors would be amazing, which would quickly figure out that they weren't "camp people" after all. Who would develop camp-mances and who would start off uncertain but grow into an amazing counsellor.

And then I got thrown a curve ball. Followed by another and in a matter of days it felt like everything was flipped upside down. This was the first summer that I really doubted myself as a 'camp person' and as person. It's the first time that camp has ended and I haven't been certain that I'll find myself back in the same place next May. I know that there's a time for everything; for things to end and begin and it may be time for me to step away. 

I have no  idea what will unfold over the next few months. What doors will open and what ones will close. So as summer ends I'm looking forward to processing this summer, figuring out where I need to be and the things I need to step away from. Of course I will do it all while enjoying the scent of Crackling Woods candles, sipping on hot coffee and eagerly awaiting the premiere of my favourite shows. 

Fall potential and summer potential feel very different to me. Fall is about moving forward, taking time to figure out what went right, what was wrong, what I can change and identifying the things I need to hold on to and the things I need to let go. 

Liking up with Bailey Jean

Solo

This week alone I saw two engagements and one pregnancy announcement pop up on my Facebook feed. All from girls the same age (or a year younger) than me. I am really happy for those people and I wish them nothing but the best, that doesn't mean I don't feel a twinge of hurt/jealousy whenever another announcement comes rolling in.

Once upon a time I met a boy who was a few check marks short of perfect…except for one glaring problem, he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Which I calmly accepted and let myself hope (and pray) that at some point the timing would be right and we could be together. Then he met someone else, who he was ready to be in a relationship with and I spent a month  far longer than I would like to admit bursting into tears when I saw photos of their adventures and listening to Taylor Swift while I tried to process my feelings towards the whole thing. Things are better now, I'm a little less emotionally fragile and when I step back and take myself out of the equation I really do want him to be happy. 

I get discouraged pretty easily when it feels like everyone else in the world is in a serious relationship, two steps away from marriage but I know that I would rather be single than be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. 

It's hard to be confident and okay with this whole season of singleness thing when I have such a strong desire to be married and have a family. I trust that there is a reason God's current plan for me doesn't involve being in a relationship. I have don't have much of an idea why that is, but if I let myself believe that it's something I'm doing wrong I get angry and bitter. And nobody likes the angry bitter single girl. Including myself.

If you want to read more about my thoughts on being single check out this post.

Linking up with Bailey Jean for Blog-Tember! 

Coffee & Prayers

{one} 

I'm in the market for a new Bible. My current "all-purpose" Bible was given to me at the beginning of an LIT program I completed at camp when I was 16. It's very much highlighted and bookmarked and noted and has seen better days. I'm sure I'll save it forever but I feel like I'm in a phase of life where I need to start fresh. If you have any suggestions for a translation or specific Bible I should get I am all ears! I have been using God's Word translation but I'm open to change. I already have a copy of The Message that I read on occasion but would prefer something else for daily use.

{two} 

I posted yesterday on Instagram about my deep love for Salted Caramel Mocahs from Starbucks and I'm going to post about it again here. I know everyone goes head over heels for Pumpkin Spice this time of year but the PS Bandwagon is not one I'm interested in joining. I so rarely go to Starbucks but I had an appointment yesterday and picked some up on my way home. It's been a long week and I'm starting to feel the stress of not knowing what's around the corner. 

{three}

Somewhere along the way between April & Now I lost my planner. It wasn't so bad during the summer because the days schedule was always posted on the door and when I had errands to do during break I made a to-do list and got things done. Now that I'm back in the Monday-Friday real world I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing each day. I was trying to plan blog posts last night and realized I had nowhere to write them down. I'm way too cheap to buy a fancy Erin Condren planner or any of those other brand name books that cost an arm and a leg. So fingers crossed I can find something cute & cheap the next time I'm at Wal-Mart. 

{four}

I'm doing an Online Bible Study with Love God Greatly on Esther which prior to this month isn't a book of the Bible I've read a whole lot. I do feel like it's perfect timing though so much of the lessons we've covered so far is about trusting that God has you where you need to be. It might not be where you want to be but there is a reason why. I struggle so much with journalling and really making a specific time to pray and reflect during the camp season it's one of the biggest challenges I've found working at a secular camp. It's been lovely to get back into a routine of journalling every day and having time to really reflect opposed to a quick prayer before bed. 

{five}

One of the best things about working from home is waking up at 8:30, putting on a pair of jogging pants and checking my e-mail on the couch while I drink my coffee. My brother broke my favourite coffee mug earlier this week and now I can't seem to find another one that holds just the right amount of coffee. There are a million coffee mugs in the cupboard though so I refuse to buy a new one, but it just isn't the same. Please tell me I'm not the only one with an unhealthy emotional attachment to which mug I drink my coffee out of in the morning.