A List of Stuff & Things For My Future Husband

I was browsing the big wide world of Bloglovin' recently and came across this listicle "May You Not Be Weird and 30 Other Prayers for my Future Husband" and it made me giggle. And I was a little nostalgic for that time I wrote out a list of everything my 'perfect' boy would be...and then he appeared a few weeks later. A few months after that we had, what I've come to classify as a 'whirlwind summer romance' and it ended because I forgot to include 'looking for a serious long term relationship' on my list. Okay, there were other reasons why it didn't last forever but I like to think that little omission also played a part. 

After that mess was cleaned up (it didn't end well) I decided to abandon the list and let the universe bring me something. The universe brought me J. who was essentially the anti-list. I went with it for awhile but at the 18 month mark it became clear that it was not what I wanted. Now, six months after that relationship ended I'm ready to return to the list philosophy. 

1. I hope you exist, and I meet you before my 30th birthday. 
2. May you be ready for marriage and looking for a serious relationship.
3. I hope you want multiple children and are open to the idea of adoption and/or being a foster parent.
4. I hope you're a camp person. That you can teach me one new campfire song and own a minimum of two tie-dye t-shirts.
5. You need to own a pair of work boots.
6. Please don't expect me to be in constant contact with you. I need to fuel my inner introvert and be able to spend time with friends without my phone. 
7. May you know the value of a hard day's work.
8. May you believe in something bigger than yourself.
9. It would cool if you were an RCMP officer, social worker, farmer or camp professional. 
10. It would also be nice if you shared my love of Disney.
11. I hope you love outdoor adventures and watching Netflix. Balance is important. 
12. You need to be financially responsible. I don't expect you to be a millionaire but you also shouldn't have mounds of consumer debt.
13. It's worth saying that I've always had a thing for males who play guitar. Especially if you can play Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls and/or a selection of country ballads. 
14. You're probably going to need to be a meat eater if you're going to attend my family gatherings.
15. I hope you know the value of eating vegetables, but also be open to eating chicken strips & french fries on special occasions.
16. I hope you are involved in your community, that you know your neighbours and they refer to you as the 'nice young fella down the road'.
17. Know that I'm using the term neighbours loosely, I expect you to be a a country boy.
18. I hope you are passionate about something other than making money.
19. May you meet the high standards of H. & R. and remember I loved them first.
20. May you be compassionate, humble and kind to others.
21. It would also be cool if you drove a truck. 
22. May you be blessed with a working knowledge of  basic vehicle and home repairs. 
23. And a desire to assemble any furniture that may come in multiple pieces.
24. Please be accepting of the fact most my skills conform to gender stereotypes. 
25. I hope you appreciate the little things in life. 
26. I hope you are surrounded by a good friend group.
27. I hope you love my quirks.
28. I hope I love your quirks.
29. To echo the inspiration for this updated list, "I hope you think the idea of praying for your future-but-maybe-doesn't-exist spouse is kind of silly but also sweet". 

Do/did you have a list of requirements for your future spouse?

Linking up with Stuff & Things

Stuff & Things: Summer Camp Edition

I am three sleeps away from the beginning of camp. This fact continues to blow my mind as I look at my Must Do List, my Want To Do List, and the multiple piles of stuff covering every available surface in my bedroom. I can't say I'm stressed per say, but I find the deepest, darkest corners of my mind wishing there was more hours in the day. Of course that isn't going to happen so I'm just going to have to put on my big girl drawers and get things done.

I am over the moon excited about being snail mail Camp Prayer Partners with Allie this summer!

Last night I spent over 3 hours cutting out tokens to use during a Staff Training activity based on The Spoon Theory. I'm excited about the activity, however my hand hurts from cutting hundreds of little paper squares. And I'm not even close to done yet.

I usually choose a verse for the summer but none have really come to me this summer. 

I have no idea where my phone charger is located. I saw it yesterday evening at 6:00 and when I went to plug my phone in at 10:30 I couldn't remember what I did with the thing. I assume it accidentally got buried beneath a pile of clothes or papers or is hiding beneath the tower or Larabars I have on top of my dresser. So many options. Update: It was downstairs on the kitchen cupboard. Apparently taking it upstairs to my room was a figment of my imagination.

Sunday I have a 6-7 hour drive to camp ahead of me. That kind of car time requires some serious music, currently very open to suggestions for some new music. I mostly listen to country and upbeat worship type music. And I prefer male singing voices to female (Except T-Swift, I love T-Swift always & forever). I flat out refuse to listen to anything with a bunch of swear words and tend not to like things that fall into the 'pop' category.

Today I have some utterly fabulous errands to run including a trip to the DMV, which I've been putting off for a month now but it needs to happen before I leave the province. I plan to cheer myself up afterwards with a trip to the grocery store.

I'm usually SO on top of craft ideas and planning activities for the summer. This year I have done next to nothing. I have a few crafts pinned on Pinterest but I haven't actually tried any of them to see if they work.

That's all I've got for today. I'm still in my pyjamas, and while I'm sure there will be at least one person impatiently waiting in their PJs at the DMV, I don't want that to be a conversation starter. Plus, I'm having dinner with J. and his parents tonight after I finish my errands.

What Happens Next

If I could go back and start at the beginning all over again I'd do a few things different. 

I would have done a better job communicating and spent more time writing and communicating with myself so I could express my thoughts and feelings to others. 

I would have focused on the big picture and reminded myself that 10 years from now I won't remember the minor details that I found so annoying in the moment.

I would have drank more water and less coffee.

The thing is my contract is ending this month and I may not get the change to do things over again. I wrote about my loyalty to my current camp last year and I still feel a lot of the same feelings I did back then. The difference is I realize that I can't stay with a place/at a job forever where there's no opportunity for it to become full-time. I'm not really sure where that leaves me though.

Once again I find myself staring into the future and only seeing a giant question mark. And I'm trying really hard not to let that giant question mark make me overly anxious. 

Instead I'm focusing on making the last couple of weeks in this job good ones and trusting that something great is just around the corner. I should know by now that things happen when they're supposed to happen and it's often at the last minute. 

"I will put my rainbow in the clouds to be a sign of my promise to the earth."

- Genesis 9:13

Elusive Pause

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I have always been a supporter of the theory "slow & steady wins the race" and that "good things come to those who wait". Over the years I'v had many friends voice their strong opposing theories; good things come to people who work for them and the quicker the better, all that jazz. On some level I understand…unless you give me the chance to elaborate you may assume I'm someone who sits around all day and just hopes for the best. 

The truth is my "good things come to those who wait" philosophy is more about having faith in God's timing and believing that even when it doesn't seem that way He is in control and He has only my best interests in mind. 

And sometimes He says "no". 

And sometimes you think He is saying "No.", followed by "Absolutely Not.", followed by "seriously, I said no. Stop. Move on." So you take the hint (sort of) and slowly start to move on but the question never really leaves your mind. 

And sure enough, slowly but all at once just when you had stopped asking everyday (and only asked on special occasions) you start to realize what He has really telling you is "Not Right Now.", "Not Yet.", "Now is not the the time." and in that moment you hear "Not quite yet…but someday".

There is no doubt that 'someday' is several calendar years away. 

Things will unfold slowly and steadily. One step at a time.

Be patient, therefore, brothers & sisters, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. James 5:7-8 

I fully realize this post is pretty vague and such but for now that's the way it needs to be. The specific details are few and far between and right now they are the tiniest of threads being woven together. It's a beginning though, the strongest ropes start with a single thread. And I am overwhelmed with hope and faith that even if these threads aren't going to produce the final pattern that I'm hoping for whatever the end result is will be nothing short of amazing.

God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever ask for or imagine. - Ephesians 3:20

Called To Be Woven

I had one of the best weekends I've had in a really long time. It seems like it's been so long since I've experienced God Moments but this weekend I seemed to be surrounded. I found them in the most unexpected places, but I am so grateful that I did. 

I'm grateful for the peace of not knowing the specifics, but knowing that I need only to keep listening and watching and following 'the call'. 

I'm grateful for coffee on rainy Monday mornings.

I'm grateful for fulfilled promises.

I'm grateful for songs that give me goosebumps. 

I am full of hope, praise, celebration, faith and delight that I know there are big things ahead. 

I am grateful for passion and opportunities to use that passion to make a difference. 

40 Days of Life

I was going to post about my weekend at home but then I realized I need to recap and reflect on Lent! I loved the idea of doing a Lenten Journal but I missed the boat on ordering one online and I couldn't find exactly what I wanted in stores. So I got out my markers and felt tip pens and got crafting! 

First I found a weekly template that was meant to be used for to-do lists on Pinterest. I used this one and you can find the free PDF download here. I did some quick math and printed out enough sheets for the entire season of Lent plus extra to keep going. Then I hole punched the whole works and put them into a duo-tang. 

My goal was to take 10-15 minutes each day and fill in the circle for the day. I didn't give myself any rules about what could and could not fill a circle. Some days it was full of random doodles, others a verse, sometimes a single word and sometimes a combination of everything. I used the "Notes" section of the page to add in any extra prayer requests for that week or praises as the week went on. 

I'll be honest and admit there were nights I missed, but I made a point to catch up the next day. I never let myself get more than two days behind and for the most part I stayed on top of things. Overall it was a positive and productive experience. So much so that I am going to continue with it, it really doesn't take that much time and I really like having that quick snapshot of each day. 

Honestly it's hard for me to believe that 40 days are over. It's one of those things that seemed so long at the beginning but in retrospect went by fast. It has become part of my routine though and I am so happy that I was able to fully establish a meaningful and positive new habit during Lent!

Life Lately

When I wrote my last real update about the moving situation everything was still very much a giant question mark. Friday night I did find a place to live though (sort of). One of my friends is studying Occupational Therapy and part of her program is doing work placements in various OT work places. The past two months her placement has been in a different provinces so her apartment in the city has been empty. I knew it was empty all along and was an option, the only glitch is that she isn't sure where her next placement will be...it could be just about anywhere in Canada and it could also be back in the city. If it turns out that her next placement is back in the city then I'll be apartment hunting again the end of the month. I am really hoping it's not in the city because I am pretty happy where I'm at and absolutely hate the thought of moving. Again. We'll see what happens though, fingers crossed!

Since I'm not entirely sure how long I'll be living in this spot for and because the apartment is fully furnished I packed pretty light. Clothes, toiletries and a few other essential items. Peyton did not come with. As much as I would have loved to find a pet friendly place and take her with me I know she can't come to camp and would have to go back with my parents during the summer anyway. Moving her for 4 months and then moving her back just seemed mean. 

H. offered to come help me unpack Saturday (even though there wasn't much to unpack) and she brought me a little apartment-warming gift. I'm always saying how I just want to be one of those people who has dinner parties all the time. So she brought me super cute paper plates, napkins and paper straws for my first dinner party! She made me oatmeal chocolate chip cookies too but those didn't make it long enough to get photographed. 

Work has been both super busy and super fun. So far this week I've gotten a March Break Day Camp up and running, started forming a Camp Alumni group, researched policies and procedures on camp rentals and started inputting data for this summers campers! I also was tasked with the job of coming up with songs for one of our counsellors to learn how to play on guitar that everyone knows the words to. I am in love with my job. 

The only downside to this week is that I keep expecting something bad to happen. I haven't gotten to the point where I'm lying awake at night coming up with crazy scenarios that will put an end to all this greatness but it's constantly nagging at me in the back of my mind. It all just seems so good to be true. I hate that I'm thinking about all the potential bad things that could happen instead of fully focusing and enjoying the good things. I've been praying about it a lot and forcing myself to focus on being thankful for the now and not praying that "nothing bad happens" because that's just not going to work. If something bad is going to happen, it'll happen and I'll deal with it accordingly. 

Overall I feel like I'm on the right track and things are coming together. Plus now that the initial anxiety is diminished I'm sure my second week will be even better than the first! 

Two Thousand and Thirteen

I'm linking up with Shane & Whitney to share my 2013 Year in Review!

 I didn't start blogging until February of 2013, and I didn't really "get serious" about it until the fall.  I don't have any links to past posts in my look back on 2013, because for the most part they aren't things I blogged about! Hopefully this time next year my 2014 review will be full of photos and posts, but for for this year I chose a photo for each month and a sentence or two about life way back then. 

January// I celebrated my 23rd birthday by going to the city for a camp reunion with some of my favourite people. We drank lots of wine, laughed until our sides hurt and began the process of creeping the potential new staff on various social media accounts. 

February// I finally got a passport! I still haven't actually used my passport to go anywhere but I think 2014 will be the year I venture out of the country. 

March// I officially signed my contract to return to camp. There was never any real doubt it was just made official in March. I spent lots of time working on Staff Training, coming up with ways to recruit new counsellors and pinning up a storm of arts & crafts projects and games to try. 

April// I spent a lot of April watching the Big Brother Canada live feeds. I'm almost too embarrassed to even admit to my addiction, but it was ridiculous. At one point my best friend suggested I need an intervention and I don't think they were joking. Emmett & Jillian have more or less replaced Boston Rob & Amber as my favourite Realty TV Love Story. 

May// I bought my first car! I also went camping with a bunch of Girl Guides and spent a lot of time packing for camp, preparing materials for staff training and then heading to camp for the summer!

June// I celebrated the end of the first two weeks of camp (both training weeks) by going to a concert with H. & R. and discussing all the new recruits over some fancy drinks. June seems like a blur of teaching, learning and figuring out how all the personalities of the counsellors would work together.

July// Camp was in full swing which means that in the office I drank a lot of caffeine while dealing with the craziness of the job and outside the office I tie-dyed a lot of things and enjoyed being at camp!

August// I spent a lot of time under the moon and stars with someone who will always have a special place in my heart. And that's all I'll say about that. 

September// I moved home from camp and recovered from the post-camp hangover while trying to navigate all the paper work to make my job into something full time. Was ridiculously optimistic that things would happen pretty quickly and I would find myself moving to the City before the end of October.

October// I went on an autumn adventure to visit R. where we went for long strolls with seasonally flavoured lattes and spent the afternoon at an apple orchard. I also spent a week apartment & cat sitting in the City which involved hanging out with some of my favourite people. 

November// I bought my first DSLR camera and really discovered how much I love blogging and being part of this community! Over the past few weeks I've participated in my first swap, sponsored my first blog and tomorrow I will be doing my first guest post! 

Looking back I have mixed feelings about 2013. I was incredibly blessed to meet some amazing people who I hope will be in my life for a long time to come. There were also some things I didn't accomplish that I am disappointed about. December still has a few more days left but and 2014 is still a few days away but I have a feeling that things are starting to happen. I mentioned a little bit about Texas back here and I don't want to go into details yet but things are kind of starting to happen there (much faster than I ever would have anticipated!) so if you wouldn't mind praying for that opportunity. I have no idea if it's the right thing yet, or even if things will align to really make it happen. I just know that I feel like I'm being led there for some reason or another.

Also linking up here! 

Faith, Fun & Food on Friday

{one}

I blogged back here about how much I love words of affirmation, usually I get all my word lovin' during the summer months at camp where writing "warm fuzzies" is a widely accepted & enjoyed activity. During the fall/winter/spring I rely on reading through old warm fuzzies, random messages from friends and of course your sweet blog comments! This week however I got the best surprise in my mailbox. A letter from a girl who was in the youth group I helped lead during university. We hadn't really kept in touch over the past year and although I think of her fondly I wouldn't say we were overly close during my time with the group. I never would have guessed I made any sort of impact on her life. I won't share the contents of the letter but it made me tear up and reminded me that even when we don't know we're making a difference it someone's life, we are. 

{two}

Speaking of youth and making a difference, yesterday I did something brave. I e-mailed a Christian camp in Texas to inquire about employment opportunities they have from September-April. It may not sound like a big leap of faith, but I've always said I'd love to experience living in the south and that I'd love to travel and work at larger Christian camp while I'm young. I've never taken any steps to make this happen though, because it's scary. Yesterday though I was browsing camps, (which is a pretty common activity for me) and I came across this particular camp and I just got this feeling. I can't explain it really, but it was just a huge push to send an e-mail. Even if nothing comes from the e-mail it's a step.

{three}

I've been re-watching Dawson's Creek lately, hands down one of my all time favourite shows since I first started watching in jr.high. I think it speaks volumes about how much I've changed/grown as a person that once upon a time I was a die-hard Dawson & Joey fan. There was just no other option. And now at the ripe old age of 23 (almost 24), I get it. Team Pacey & Joey all the way. I am embarrassed that I was ever 'attracted' to the whiney, dramatic and all together annoying Dawson Leery. 

{four}

Psalm 25 has been on my mind & heart a lot lately. I'm not exactly sure why but it started with a thought about footprints, steps and paths which lead to me read the entire Psalm and as I read with my Bible on my lap, highlighter in hand I couldn't decide what part to highlight, it all just feels so relevant right now. 

Especially verse 5 as it's written in The Message:  

Take me by the hand;Lead me down the path of truth.You are my Savior, aren’t you?Psalm 25:5 (The Message)

I am little to no idea what my plans are for 2014. It's incredibly scary, stressful and worrisome but it's also kind of exhilarating. Even if I don't know what my plans are, God does.

{five}

Ending things on a lighter note, it's officially Candy Cane Hot Chocolate here in Canada. And during last weekend's road trip to the City I discovered the amazingness that is the Gingerbread Donut. As depressing as it is not to have unlimited access to Vanilla Coke, cheap clothes and Trader Joe's Tim Horton's kind of makes up for what's lacking. If I could figure out a way to stock up on gingerbread donuts and keep them all year round I would be a happy person. And on a related note, putting egg nog in coffee is also one of the tastiest treats of the season! If you haven't tried it yet, make it happen. I usually just drink coffee with sugar and no milk/cream but once egg nog goes on the shelf I'm all over it. 

Linking up here! 

Short & Sweet Friday Five

{one}

I originally planned to go "Black Friday" shopping today...but then I ended up babysitting all day. I'm a little disappointed, at the same time there's nothing I needed and I'm confident there will still be plenty of stuff at the mall tomorrow or the first of next week. 

{two}

More Secret Boards on Pinterest!!!! I'm so excited about this, I wasn't expecting it and don't think I did anything special to make it happen, but when I signed into Pinterest I had 3 more Secret Boards! 

{three}

There is nothing I am more excited about right now than pyjamas, a pile of blankets and either obscure documentaries or reruns of Dawson's Creek/Friends and sleep. Also maybe some yoga and a hot water bottle. My Friday night plans are the envy of all.

{four}

At some point during my internet travels this week I came across this 30 Days of Prayer. I've done different prayer stations and Spiritual Practices workshops with youth groups and camp over the years but they've mostly been all at once kind of a deal. I like the idea of focusing on a different type of prayer each day! I think I may take the challenge on for December, modifying it slightly because I'm not Catholic. Has anyone else done this before? 

{five}

I'm struggling to stay awake right now...it's 7 p.m. I need to keep myself awake for at least 3 more hours before it's an acceptable bedtime. Maybe more like 2 and a half. 

God Wiped My Hard Drive

Today was a rough day. 

I went to pick up my MacBook and the guy informed me that he couldn't salvage anything off the hard drive. He started trying to transfer some basic files over but then it really quit and there was nothing else he could do. Not the end of the world, 90% of the stuff that was on there is either pretty easy to replace or not of any value. The other 10% was the last pictures of my old camp. I have some hardcopies but not all of them. 

I thought I'd make myself feel a little better by getting the first Candy Cane Hot Chocolate of the season from Tim Horton's. Except that that particular story hadn't received their CCHC supplies yet. I must have looked absolutely heartbroken because the lady taking my order kept apologizing and suggested a regular hot chocolate with a mint shot and whip cream on top. I agreed and although it was a pretty good substitute it just wasn't the exact pick me up I was anticipating.

Made it home and went to quickly check my e-mail on my phone before I assessed the laptop situation. I was hoping for nice blog comments or something along those lines to boost my mood. Instead I got an e-mail that was kind of passive-aggressive and annoyed from someone who I've had a lot of patience with and done a lot for lately, but they needed something done ASAP. I took a deep breath before replying as sweetly as possible that I would make some calls first thing tomorrow morning and see what I could do for them. Then I took a lot more deep breaths.

Decided to evaluate the laptop situation but when I went to sign in it wouldn't accept my password. I didn't get too concerned and figured the guy had just changed it called him up and explained the problem...after a few minutes of discussion he realized that what must have happened was when he tried to move the basic files from the old hard drive to the new one it got as far as my User ID and profile picture (as well as my password hint) but didn't register the actual password...I'll be making a return trip tomorrow afternoon so he can work some magic and restore it to factory settings. 

I tried to find the humour in the whole situation by reminding myself that I've been praying a lot lately for change and a fresh start. God wiped my hard drive, voila fresh start.

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On that note I am going to take a long hot shower, get into to some jogging pants and treat myself to a Vanilla Coke while watching The Princess Bride. 

And take some more deep breaths. Lots and lots of deep breaths. 

Loyalty

I've had a lot on my mind the last few days, but after much thought, careful consideration and prayerful reflection I've reached a decision that I'm comfortable with. And it all comes down to loyalty. You see last week there was a job posting for a year-round, full-time camp director within what I consider to be my "comfort zone" (I'm willing to relocate for a job, but I'm not interested in moving across the country. Sounds great right? The catch is that the position is with a very similar camp...so similar in fact some may consider it competition. 

Based on the job description, what I know about their programs, my experience and a few other facts I knew I had a pretty good shot at getting the job. My director even made a point to make sure I knew about the posting, which I appreciated considering she's spent the last few months working her way through piles of paperwork to create a year round AD job and secure funding. At first it was a no brainer, I couldn't not let this pass me by. Then I started thinking.

About the amazing campers I get to meet and learn from all summer long.

About the life long friendships I've made with other staff members.

About stargazing on August nights and counting shooting stars.

About all of the blood, sweat and tears that I have poured into that place.

And I realized.

This isn't a place I am willing to walk away from

I poured everything I had into my old camp and if God hadn't of firmly closed that door I would have kept going. I've held back on pouring myself in my current camp because I was scared of putting in all that work, only to lose it all. But that's slowly changing, and I didn't realize just how far I'd come until I was faced with the very real option of leaving. And I'm not ready to leave. I haven't accomplished everything I've wanted to accomplish where I am, there's still unfinished projects and maybe even projects I haven't started.

I will continue to be patient while funding is in the approval stages. 

I will be devoted to making things better. 

I will continue to strengthen my bonds with campers and staff.

I will keep volunteering my time, working long hours and trusting this is where I am supposed need to be.

I will pour myself into this place.

Because I've finally figured out exactly what my loyalties are. 

Happy Monday!

My Monday got off to a really great start thanks to the Blog World!

On Friday when I linked up with Kelly's Korner for SUYL she shared a link from Beth Moore's blog that prompted 20-Somethings to post a comment about ourselves and our worries and in return a Non-20-Something would reply to the post and volunteer to pray for the 20-Something. I thought it was such a sweet idea so I commented and refesed the page for an hour in anticipating of somebody replying. After an hour I realized I was being crazy and decided to leave it until Monday.

Which brings me to this morning when I went through my usual morning ritual of checking e-mail, Twitter and blogs and remembered to check back with Beth Moore. And I was greeted with this comment. I was so happy to see that and I love that the lady who commented was kind enough to also leave her e-mail address. Things like this are such a refreshing change from the usual cattiness of girls and are such an encouragement!

For those of you wondering (which I'm pretty sure is nobody, but I digress) Operation Homemade Lipgloss with the Brownies went really well! The only hiccup was for some reasons the girls who used purple Kool-Aid to colour their gloss ended up with a grey-ish colour. So that's a lesson for the next time. But other than that they were all pretty happy with how they turned out, which made me happy too. 

The last week of April/first week of May is off to an excellent start!