Last week when I had my interview they told me I would hear from them early in the week about the second round of interviews. Monday and Tuesday have gone by and I haven't heard a word good or bad, so I'm not really sure where that leaves me. I do know that I've had "In The Bulb There Is A Flower" stuck in my head since Monday evening when it started snowing. All day yesterday and so far today the familiar lyrics have been on repeat:
In the bulb there is a flower,
In the seed, an apple tree,
In cocoons a hidden promise:
Butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter,
There's a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until it's season,
Something God alone can see.
Maybe it's because it's a catchy song. Maybe it's because the song is a lullaby of sorts, I don't remember ever learning it but it was a staple of camp Christian Education time and vespers services. The lyrics were written in magic marker on chart paper above the piano in our main building complete with little doodles of tulips and apple trees. Whatever the reason it's a comforting song to be playing on repeat when I'm in the middle of season with more questions than answers. Just wandering around the proverbial forest setting off down different paths only to discover they're all dead ends.
And as much as I appreciate a good adventure and generally enjoy the scenic route I'm kind of over it. I don't want to "savour my season" or "embrace the unknown" or "enjoy the journey" because those things are all fine for a while but regardless of how much fun you're having on vacation you always want to get back to your own bed eventually.
While everyone is busy admiring the twinkle lights, eagerly awaiting watching their littles opening presents on Christmas morning and starting to set goals for 2017 I'm refreshing my e-mail every hour (that may sound a lot but it's an improvement over every 15 minutes) and wondering if somewhere along the line I took the wrong exit and am doomed to wander around the wrong forest forever.
My goal, wish, objective, intent...purpose in life is to have a permanent, full time camp job. Anything past that is a bonus.