Friday, 9 December 2016

Friday Coffee Chat

My Friday Five is a little heavier this week, I thought about not posting but in the spirit of keeping things real and genuine around here I'm going to go ahead a post. So let's pretend we're doing this over coffee. I'll have my usual with cream & sugar, or just sugar if there's no cream. 

Yesterday I had an my interview for the full time camp job that I really want, I'll find out next week if I make it through to the second round of interviews. I think it went okay, but the only thing I know for sure is I am exhausted. I've spent the past nine months in this never ending cycle of searching, researching, writing, editing, e-mailing, interviewing and not being good enough. People have made full fledged human beings in the amount of time I've spent dedicated to securing a camp career. 

Also in the past nine months my three closest friends have secured jobs that they love, in the field they want to be in. Which means they don't/can't relate. And that's exhausting, because I don't want to be the Negative Nellie of the group or the underachiever so I keep repeating my standby mantra that everything happens for a reason and things will work out. 

I have been on a serious Facebook break this week because there's a lot of provincial politics happening and I happen to fall on the unpopular opinion side of things. Nobody seems to be thinking with a clear head though and scrolling through people's Facebook rants and opinions was making me crazy. The upside of that is I've levelled up a whole bunch on Sky Burger. Still haven't picked up a book yet though, maybe that's a task for next week.

It might sound cold hearted, but earlier this week I celebrated not celebrating a two year dating anniversary. A big catalyst for ending the relationship was more freedom to look for camp jobs and being six months on the other side of that and still not having anything to show is hard. The good news is there were lots of other reasons why the relationship needed to end and I haven't regretted my decision for a second. It would just be nice if I had something to show for this year. Instead I'm entering into the season of family gatherings single and unemployed. It's zeros all across the board and for a Type A like me that's a hard pill to swallow.

I started watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix this week.  

Even though the whole 'Pick me, choose me, love me' quote is meant to be about choosing between romantic interests that's essentially how I feel about the hiring process. I don't doubt my ability to do any of the jobs I've applied for, the problem is there are dozens of other people who have the same ability. I've never been someone bursting with self confidence, but I've always been confident about what I'm passionate about. Continuously being told that I'm not good enough for the thing I love most is the absolute worst. 

I'm not the least bit excited about Christmas. I'm 90% finished all of my shopping and wrapping and I'm just ready to get it over with. I don't want to listen to any Christmas music or partake in any decorating. I want to watch Elf once because I think it's a great movie and that's kind of the extent of my Christmas Cheer. 

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