I wish I could be one of those people who when adventure knocks leap to their feet to answer the door and then run off without a single thought about what they should bring or do to prepare.
But I'm not.
My anxiety has been at an 8 for over 24 hours. It feels like a sumo wrestler is sitting on my chest. My mind has two trains of thoughts running in opposite directions. One is listing off all of the things I need to figure out; somewhere a safe/cheap place to live, a budget, packing, unpacking, driving in the city, moving date.... the other is telling me to CALM DOWN, God's got this. I can take the necessary steps to try and make connections and figure things out but in the end it's in His hands.
I'm exhausted but my mind won't stop racing long enough to fall asleep.
I keep reminding myself this is my year to Be Brave. Right now it's not helping.
Apartment hunting on such short notice is HARD. I thought I found a great place, it was well within budget, a good location, had a parking spot and the title of the ad was 'Female Christian Roommate Wanted". Perfect. But when I told the girl I was hoping to see pictures and wanted to "meet" via Skype she wasn't super into it. I'm not really willing to make the 5 hour drive this week just to meet the girl and then turn around and drive 5 hours back when I'm moving at the end of the week. So that's disappointing.
I haven't been able to really start packing yet because I don't know where I'm going. If I don't find my own place I'll be staying with friends and I my packing will be extremely limited to just the clothes I need for a week or so. #stress
On that note I'm going to go make myself a giant stir fry because I'm craving broccoli hardcore. (I don't think I've ever mentioned this before but sometimes when I'm stressed I get really intense broccoli cravings. It's ridiculous. But also kind of awesome?)
Hi Donna, I'm like you I am not one to go racing through the door when new opportunities for adventure knocks. I understand how uneasy the feeling of not knowing or being in control can feel. What I have learned that being brave looks different for each of us and to acknowledge even the small steps we are taking. And how cool that you crave broccoli instead of cookies ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Donna, I wanted to stop by and check out your blog. Obviously because Canadian girls rock!
ReplyDeleteWhether I go racing to the door really depends on the day. Sometimes even the hour. Over the last couple years I have been struggling with some anxiety. Boy has it changed my life. I think I am starting to get a better handle on it in the more recents months but it can still surprise me.
I wish you luck in your apartment search. It is stressful at the best of times nevermind with the added pressure of a time crunch. I love broccoli. I wish it was a stressing caving for me. Mine is cheese. Anything with cheese! :)
omg- cheese is my one true love! and finding a place to live- whether it's a house or an apartment- it's so much work! good luck on the search, friend.
ReplyDeleteKarissa
www.karissaandcompany.com
ahh hope you can find something soon, I know how stressful that can be ugh.
ReplyDelete-- jackie - jade and oak
Praying for peace and that you will find something soon.
ReplyDelete