You Won't Find This Here

The first step to getting back on the blog-wagon was to get back in the habit of jotting down ideas for posts whenever they popped into my head. It created for some weird to do lists - more coffee, shower,  call Mom, How I get My Life Together on Sunday... (that's an excerpt from a camp list, I only have to write shower on my to list from May-August, the rest of the time it comes naturally).

I also started thinking about the things I wouldn't blog about, and realized that a lot of them are pretty popular topics. Which is maybe another factor that contributed to my blogging break. I (subconsciously) felt like I didn't fit into any of the niches - either the category didn't apply to me - you've got to have kids to be a Mommy Blogger! Or I wasn't interested in that particular topic - I'm not a runner. 

So while I'll 'never say never' here's some topics it's pretty unlikely you'll be reading about around here. 

Diet/Fitness 

I operate under the 'everything in moderation' principle. I enjoy pop and I enjoy water. I like BBQ steak and I think veggie burgers can be delicious. Sometimes I eat three well balanced meals and drink water. Sometimes it's 6:00 p.m. and I realize the only nutrition I've gotten in the last 48 hours is from coffee and bagels. 

Blogging

This is a hobby not my career. I have no idea how to have the best SEO or get Nordstrom to send me free clothes...I've never even been inside a Nordstrom. I'm absolutely open to doing the occasional sponsored post, participating in link ups or exchanges but this isn't how I make my money. I'm not going to lose sleep over page clicks or "my brand".

Fashion

I spend 4-5 months of the year wearing some combination of jogging pants, neon Nike running shorts, tie-dye, camoflauge, plaid shirts and an array of hoodies. Sometimes I wear the same combination of those clothes for a couple days in a row. I'm happiest in leggings and hoodies, if you're happiest in leather pants and corsets all the power to you. 

(To be clear - the other 6-7 months of the year I dress like a grown up. Fun Fact : sometimes campers/camper families don't recognize me in the "real world".) 

Singleness

I'll almost certainly blog about my interactions on the dating scene and the colourful cast of characters I would have no idea exist in the world if it weren't for dating apps. I'm not going to blog about my "plight as a single gal in my late 20s". It's too easy to go deep in the rabbit hole of being unhappy, being self-conscious and feeling not good enough. I know that's not true. I'm a catch! 

Travel

I can totally get on board with fun weekend getaways every few months and maybe a bigger vacation during the year. I have no plans to start galavanting all over the world on a bi-monthly basis anytime soon. And when I do travel my focus is going to be on spending time with whoever I'm travelling with (I definitely won't be travelling solo!) and taking photos for scrapbooking but not for blogging. I'm happy to hear about your adventures in Bali but you won't be hearing about mine. 

Do you have things on your 'No-Blog List'? I'm also hyper sensitive to what kind of personal information I'm putting out in the world. Which is sometimes frustrating when I plan on posting a photo or two and realize after the fact they have super identifying features. But it's also not the end of the world and it's good motivation to take lots of photos so there's lots to choose from!

Hello, Blog!

It's been 10 months since I published a blog post. A few times I've attempted to get back on the blogwagon, but it never manifested into anything I felt like publishing. 

And it's not for lack of content. 2018 has been quite the ride. 

I went on a blind date. Fell head over heels. Had all sorts of magic & butterflies. Found myself in a long distance relationship. Got dumped at 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning. 

Felt unfulfilled and overwhelmed at work. Started thinking about returning to a camping career. Got a phone call the Camp Director at my former camp gave his resignation and the next thing you know I'm a full time, year round Camp Director...beginning in the middle of the summer. 

Entered the world of Dating Apps. The world is a strange place full of even stranger people. 

Went on a fun filled girls trip and did all the touristy things.

Moved into a lovely condo. And into the city...still working on loving that aspect. 

Celebrated birthdays, mourned breakups, read books, tried new recipes, made some crafts and didn't blog a single bit of it. I spent quite a bit of time thinking about blogging and you might even notice that things look a little different around here but never did mange to add more words.

Things are settling down now and I've more or less gathered all the pieces of life that were scattered in every direction. Which means it's time to build new (or old) habits. I'm not sure what my return to blogging will look like, I miss writing, so it may turn out to be pretty frequent. And it also might be when I occasionally have a good story to share. Which, if I'm going to catch up with the last 10 months could be a post every hour on the hour for the next 10 years. 

Either way it feels good to be back...I think...

Are people still blogging? I thought I was up on current trends and then I worked with a bunch of seventeen year olds and realized I'm old and out of touch with technology. 

Lanterns & Longish Weekends

It figures that the first week of the year, the week I'm all gung-ho to jump back into blogging we had a big snowstorm. Which caused a power outage, followed by an even longer Internet outage which essentially put a halt on all blogging enthusiasm. 

Ironically I had planned to publish a post about how one of my intentions for the year is to do less multi-tasking and how I thought I might be able to manage life one thing at a time. As it turns out multi-tasking is a lot harder when there's no electricity. For starters it eliminates the option of watching TV along with anything else. And since I was 95% prepared and not 100% prepared my cellphone wasn't fully charged which eliminated the option of listening to music or Podcasts as I went about my afternoon and evening.

I found a book and blanket and cozied up on the couch and read for almost two hours without interruption. When supper time rolled around I made some guacamole and ate by lantern light without any background noise. Then I went back to reading until the power came on a little while later. I won't pretend I didn't leap up to charge my phone and make a hot cup of tea but I also didn't immediately turn on all the lights and fire up Netflix. I kept reading and being content just reading my book and enjoying the quiet. 

Shortly after that I realized that the power came on but the Internet did not. In fact it was gone from Thursday at 3:30-ish until Saturday afternoon at 3:30ish. I tried to enjoy it and I did pop in Friends DVDs to watch while I worked on my Project Life album but I seriously felt like I was disconnected. I wasn't totally disconnected, my phone was fully charged and I was using data to scroll through Twitter for the latest news and check in on Instagram but it sure felt that way.

It left me wondering if I should re-evaluate my plans to go an entire week without multi-tasking, a week is a long time when you're only doing one thing at a time. And it really left me wondering how I can incorporate some regularly scheduled technology breaks into my life. 

Sunday mornings or afternoons seem like the most logical time to implement some slow down time but then again so do Wednesday evenings. Maybe it should be a daily thing instead of a weekly thing, although I know that's not realistic. 

Do you have mandated technology breaks? I know I go long stretches without my phone or computer if I'm out and about but if I have an evening or day at home it's likely I'm going to be watching TV and texting and aimlessly browsing....possibly all at once and there's no way that can be a healthy habit!

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2018 - Brought To You By The Letter H

A few months back I briefly mentioned I had been reading about the difference between goals and intentions. It's still something I'm thinking about and I want that to reflect any sort of to-do list I make  going forward. I broke things down into four categories where I want to be intentional over the next year, they're purposely broad so that any goals I create will fit into one of the four categories. I'm not sure yet if I'll set monthly or quarterly goals or a mix of both but I do know that these will be the categories:

Home

For the first time since finishing high school I know I'm going to live in one place for the whole year and foreseeable future. Since moving in at the beginning of September I've bought a few pieces of furniture and done a little rearranging to make it feel like home but there's still more to be done. The intention here is to create a place that is warm and inviting and homey. Goals in this area will be specific things like adding more art to the walls and creating a scrapbooking nook. 

Heart

Gratitude was one of my main resolutions for 2017 and while it wasn't perfect most days I did take time to list a minimum of three thankful thoughts. Lately I've been topping 20-30 things each day and it is true that the more you do it the easier it becomes. Along with continuing be thankful I want to be kinder and gentler to myself and others. Be a little less judgemental and a lot more compassionate, even when my Type A-ness just wants to solve the problem and move on with life. Difficult things to measure but might end up including sending more snail mail, planning more coffee dates and less meetings. 

Head

The first year of a new job is always going to be rough but looking back I had a terrible work/life balance. I planned almost everything around work and it left me feeling resentful and generally unhappy. There's absolutely value in working hard and getting things done but there's also a whole lot of value in having interests and life outside the office. Reading more books, decreasing screen time and planning time away from work are all going to fall under this category. 

Habits

One difference between intentions and goals is the idea of forming habits. When you set a goal it's a task that you accomplish and then move on to the next task. Intentions don't necessarily have an end, it's about being mindful about how you're interacting with the world. Mostly all of these goals are about creating new habits and being intentional and less about doing x number of things before a certain date. My morning routine is going to get an overhaul in this area as is my tendency to multi-task. 

How is 2018 shaping up for you? Are you making resolutions? Setting goals? Carrying on with life like usual? Let me know!

One Little Word 2018

I hadn't given any thought to choosing a word for 2018.

I was starting to see posts pop up on social media and I watched the official launch of Ali Edward's One Little Word workshop but it wasn't resonating with me and I wasn't interested in forcing something. Last year I had the grand idea to choose one word each week...which was indeed a wonderful idea until about March. At which point it became a chore and I stopped even looking at the list of 52 words I had previously chosen. 

A little over a week ago I was journalling at the end of the day and thinking about words and it occurred to me that 'magic' should be my word for 2018. My first reaction was more of a 'Ugh, again, I don't want to pick a word.' than excitement but I let my subconscious mull it over and before I knew what I was doing I was browsing 'magic' and 'magical' quotes on Pinterest. 

This is definitely a scenario of my word finding me versus me choosing a word. And I'm still a little bewildered about what I'm supposed to do with the word 'magic'. In a lot of ways it seems like a juvenile word conjuring up images of unicorns and rainbows or on the opposite end something dark and scary. I'm much closer to the unicorn end of the spectrum but I'm not about to redecorate everything pink and I'm also not going to start consulting a psychic. I'm left shrugging my shoulders and actively deciding to go with the flow.

I'm not going to do the Ali Edward's workshop and I probably won't actively incorporate it into  my Project Life album on a regular basis. I'm anticipating documenting most of my word in my art journal with doodles and collages and whatever I feel like doing, whenever I feel like doing it - maybe it will be weekly, maybe it will be every few months the one certainty is that I'm not attaching any rules to the process. 

Are you embracing a specific word for 2018?  I'd love to know your word and how you're planning to interact with it over the year!

Favourite Things 2017 Edition

Along with the end of the year comes the invitation to reflect and compile all that reflection into lists. And since there are few things I find as comforting as lists it's the perfect motivation to dust off the keyboard (literally) and document a few of my favourite things from 2017. 

Book: You Are A Badass - Jen Sincero. I loved this book. I've read a lot of self-help type books and things that generally fall into the 'self-help' category but this one was different. The information was familiar but it was presented in a way that made it fun and friendly. A friend recommended it to me and then I recommended it to another friend and now I have this little pod of people who are all equally as interested in the power of positive thinking and encouragement. 

Show: The Ranch I came across this show in July and it quickly became a favourite. There's something about the way it balances humour and drama, it feels real and not too ridiculous. Of course, some of it is kind of ridiculous but in the same way real life is ridiculous. There's a lot of swearing, which generally turns me off of a movie/show but it works in this context. I like it so much that I'm not even binge watching the most recent season because I want to savour it! 

Move: The Fundamentals of Caring This is a wimpy favourite...I'm not even sure I watched this movie this year or towards the end of last year. Either way I don't watch a lot of movies and when I do watch movies I watch the same ones. I'm including it because it was a decent movie and every other movie I watched this year I either didn't really like or was made in the 90s. 

Song: I'll Name the Dogs - Blake Shelton A few summers ago a friend consistently pointed out that country songs are ridiculous and when I first heard this song I thought about how much P. would dislike it and how much I like it. It is silly and it's also incredibly sweet and I listen to it on repeat at least once a day. 

Podcast: The Lively Show This started as a one off listening to an episode about work/life balance and I really liked what she had to say so I kept listening. I haven't made it through the entire library of shows but I'm slowly making my way through them and keeping up with recent episodes. It might be a little out there for some people and sometimes it's a little too out there for me but it is really interesting and usually motivating!

App: Instagram Nothing too exciting here, I was briefly addicted to a game called 'Cookie Jam' but Instagram was definitely the most used overall.

Photo/Moment: I had a lot of feelings during/after visiting camp in the summer but afterwards a group of us went to a friend's cottage and I snapped this photo. It illustrates a whole lot of my favourite things from people to places and is the perfect reminder that life is weird - and it always works out. I'm immensely grateful for these people and the place that brought us together even though it wasn't something I planned or wanted. 

Usually people choose a word at the beginning of the year to set the tone this year I've been thinking about a word to sum up all the events of 2017 and I've come up with disorientating. On paper and in practice life was pretty good and at the same time totally not what I envisioned. And maybe that's not a bad thing but time will tell. 

Linking up with Momfessionals.

Let's Regroup

I started writing this post back in August and the original title was 'Mid-Year Regroup' and now it's nearing the end of November. The time has come and gone to do any sort of mid-year regroup but I've made up my mind to return to a semi-regular blogging schedule and after more than six months of sporadic blogging a regroup is definitely in order!

I've managed to post an extremely general and not very interesting post once a month or so but nothing more than that so here's a month by month summary of what I've been up to since I essentially stopped blogging back in February.

February & March// This two months blend together in a lot of 'what the heck am I doing here'. My introduction to the new job and new community and all the newness was a struggle. I'm pretty sure the only motivation for sticking with it was pure stubbornness and a vague belief that everything happens for a reason and this is the place I was meant to be in this moment.

April// By April I felt a little more hopeful that maybe my 'yes' to this adventure wasn't a colossal regret. There were sprinklings of 'God Moments' and I found myself breathing a little easier, feeling a little less anxious and cautiously optimistic.

May// Some, but not all of the decreased stress and optimism followed me into May. Some days were easier than others but I still felt like I was in survival mode just making it through the day. I think I learned a lot during the month and was really excited that spring had arrived!

June// I was so happy that winter was really over. I spent a lot more time outside, going for walks in the evening and going with the flow. Looking back over the year the common thread seems to be that when I was 'going with the flow' life felt easier and happier. Maybe that's because I've been reading a lot of books and listening to a lot of podcasts lately on the theme of flow/living with intention etc.

July// The beginning and middle of July was pretty great. I felt like I was maybe starting to hit my stride and finding my place. I was house and pet sitting for most of the month and it was really lovely having pets to keep me company in the evening and having access to satellite T.V..  I was able to visit camp at the end of the month and that heavily influenced August...

August// I spent a lot of this month in tears and was kind of a basket case. After visiting camp at the end of July I had a whole lot of feelings. I did pull myself together coming on the end of the month, heavily infused by the fact I found out I would get to move in September!

September// At the first of the month I moved (again) to a new apartment! I'm anticipating living here for at least a year before I even contemplating moving again. It's much nicer than the first apartment I lived in, has much more privacy and I've been more interested in making it feel like home since I know I'm going to be here for awhile.

October// I had really great weekends in October and it was so nice to have that option. H. & R. came to visit when I was in the other apartment but it was pretty cramped and it rained the whole time. I love being able to host people and cook supper and have room for overnight guests! I let some negative people make me feel pretty terrible far often than I should this month. This has really been my first experience directly working with Passive Aggressive Negative Nelly's on a daily basis and it's a huge learning curve.

And there you have it, that brings us to November and things are still chugging along. I've never done a Q&A post before and I'm not even sure how many readers are still around there parts but I'll put it out there - if there's any burning questions you'd like to have answers to since I last blogged let me know in the comments and I'll compile a post!
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November Life

Personal Life// It's been a full two months since I moved and having a place that feels more long term has made a big difference. This month I'm modifying my evening schedule and even though it's only been a week I'm loving the amount of breathing room it's given me. 

Hobbies// I'm working through July in my Project Life album and seriously considering going weekly for 2018. It seems like a big undertaking and I also feel like I can make it work. My Blog is in need of some serious TLC, I managed to get rid of the unsightly PhotoBucket error images but now buttons to Bloglovin' and Instagram are also gone. If anyone knows how to fix that I'd appreciate the help!

Career// Some days I feel like it's starting to come together. Other days that statement couldn't be farther from the truth. I really need to do a full post dedicated on this topic. In general things are okay, there are pros and cons and somedays one of those columns outweighs the other. Likely, that's the way it's always going to be and it's a matter of deciding what to focus on in any given moment. 

Spirituality// Why are Bible Journal supplies so darn expensive?! I guess more specifically Single Column Bibles because I already have all of the other supplies. They all seem to be in the $50-$100 range BEFORE shipping. Maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places?  Other than that I still have a really solid bedtime routine and I've found some great podcasts that have help deal with life's stresses. 

Health// Reclaiming my evenings is going to make this a lot easier. I'm excited to meal plan again and have more control over meals. I've been doing much better in the realm of hydration. I did wind up with an autumn cold but I powered through and it only lasted a couple of days. I know I'm a much happier human when I sleep well so I try really hard to make that a priority and most days I'm successful. 

Goals// I've been reading a lot lately about the difference between goals and intentions (also a separate post) and it's totally reframed the way I think about accomplishments. While I continue to think about the implications of that I'm not making any new goals.

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September/October Life 2017

Personal Life// At the beginning of September I moved to a new apartment which was a majorly positive change. I'm struggling a little to get out of the work-place bubble. I really miss being involved in Guiding but the closest units are about 45 minutes away and that's just not practical in winter. A coworker/friend is determined to set me up with someone, the first guy hasn't worked out because he moved out west for work (much like most males in my dating age bracket). Now she has someone else in mind so stay tuned for those developments. 

Hobbies// I've managed to catch up as far as mid-June in my Project Life album so that's coming along. It's been awhile since I've done any pretty planning in my planner but I did buy a new sketch book and have done a few pages of what many would consider 'art journalling'. Books have been gathering dust in favour of re-watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. I usually read about one book a month but could (and should!) be reading more.

Career// Some days I feel like it's starting to come together. Other days that statement couldn't be farther from the truth. 

Spirituality// I still really like the idea of Bible Journalling but haven't done a darn thing to make that a reality. I'm still journalling and keeping a gratitude journal with an acceptable level of consistency. Recently I discovered a really great podcast that I've been trying to listen to and reflect on at least every second day.  

Health// It's ironic that one of the reasons I'm spending some time blogging this afternoon is because I've somehow acquired a cold and lack motivation to move from my couch. I was in a good rhythm for a while with eating & sleeping & hydrating and then I made a hard left. Now my sleep schedule is inconsistent, I've been eating weird meals and drinking too much coffee and not enough water. 

Goals// I've been doing some research on 'goals' versus 'intentions' and it's really changed my perspective on the whole topic. The difference between setting a goal to practice self care implies that there's a time limit on it and once it's achieved it's done. Having the intention to practice self care implies that it's not just something you do and is done but something you are constantly considering when you're thinking about goals. Moving to a new apartment was definitely a goal because now it's accomplished and it's not something I need to think about again for a while. All that to day I'm doing some reevaluating on what are my goals and what are my intentions. 

I have some drafts kicking around that I'm going to attempt to edit and get published this week. First though I'm going to eat some soup and watch an episode of Grey's before summoning all the motivation to move off the couch. 

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August Life 2017

Personal Life// I spent the month of July house/pet sitting and it was a really good break. It helped me shake off some of the post-camp life sadness and refocus on the things I should be focusing on. I am forever thankful for H. & R. who continue to help me navigate life, especially lately when sometimes that just looks like Skyping with me while I mumble about life. 

Hobbies// Having a whole house to myself instead of my small apartment meant that I spent a whole weekend surrounded my Project Life supplies and playing catch up. I'm still really far behind in terms of finished pages but I have photos printed until mid-June and have finished until the middle of March so things aren't as bleak as they once were. I am going to try to dedicate one weekend a month to catching up and hopefully by the end of the year I'll be up to date. I had my camera out more frequently in July and that also made me happy. 

Career// There were times this month when I felt really good about life. And then there was the week I spent mostly in tears because I can't believe I walked away from camp. I've been an emotional mess in this arena lately and it probably is going to stay like that for a little while longer. 

Spirituality// I've been doing a lot of research on Bible Journalling and am thinking about jumping on board that trend. I've always doodled and made notes in the margins of my Bible but I like the idea of taking it up a notch. The biggest hurdle is that I can't seem to find a n affordable Journalling Bible. I'd like one that has designated columns for journalling but I don't want to spend $100 on one. Suggestions? 

Health// Having a dog around made it so much easier to go for evening walks. And the warm weather always makes it easier to drink more water since I always have my water bottle with me. The eating breakfast trend lasted about two weeks before I returned to 

Goals// I still keep telling myself that this is the month I start blogging again. And then the month goes by and the opportunity is gone. There is a lot  of things I miss about blogging though and I think that once fall comes I'll be able to start figuring out some new routines that include more time for blogland. 

July Life 2017

The one constant in life is that every time this link up rolls around I am shocked that another month has passed.

Personal Life// June was busy! There was Girl Guide Camp, a weekend visit from H. & R., a trip home and one rainy weekend that I mostly just spent indoors and rearranging my pantry. 

Hobbies// June seemed to have a lot of full weekends and as a result I didn't really make any time for for Project Life or blogging or anything that wasn't watching Netflix. 

Career// Maybe it's because I'm not the new(est) girl anymore but things are starting to feel a little better. Things are still 100x more difficult than what I thought they were going to be and that's hard but getting a little easier. Or I'm just learning to manage my expectations better.

Spirituality// Journalling is still going strong, I've almost filled a full notebook for the first half of the year and have a second one waiting in the wings. My 'word of the week' project ebbs and flows from week to week. I'm not entirely sure how many words I've gotten through but I know it's not on par with how many weeks have already past. 

Health// I'm making more of an effort to eat breakfast. Now that it's light out it's easier to wake up a little earlier and eat something before heading to the office. At least that's what I'm telling myself... I haven't been sleeping great so that might also be a factor. 

Goals// I'm working on a mid-year goal regroup post but in the mean time I want to focus on blogging more and getting caught up with my Project Life album. And doing some fun summer things that I haven't done in years because I've always been at camp!

Linking up with Gretch & Kristen!

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June Life 2017

May was a roller coaster. Over the course of the month I experienced the full range of emotions...occasionally all within a 24 hour time frame. And all of the ups and downs made it go by so quickly. I really can't believe May is over, it's been by far the fastest month since I started this new adventure. 

Personal Life// The beginning of May was really challenging, the middle of May was definitely a struggle and I'm ending the month feeling a little better about things but still uncertain. This weekend I'm heading to Girl Guide Camp and next weekend H. & R. are coming to visit. Both of those things are very exciting!

Hobbies// I didn't make a whole lot of time for any of the usual activities this month. My main hobby was re-watching Grey's Anatomy. It was pretty cold and rainy for most of the month so my evening walks didn't happen. I did squeeze in one afternoon of Project Life-ing and managed some reading so it wasn't a complete fail. 

Career// I feel a little more confident in what I'm doing this month. Although I'm still so far away from feeling like I have things organized and under control. 

Spirituality// Journalling continues to be an important part of my bedtime routine. Other than that I'm not really actively doing anything to keep life balanced. 

Health// My pop consumption definitely increased this month, so I'm going to work on reining that back to a more acceptable once or twice a week opposed to four or five times a week. 

Goals// I did splurge on an Erin Condren! I still feel a little ridiculous about spending that kind of money on a planner but it happened. I'm excited about the hourly template and to start using it at the end of June. Once again I didn't do so great in the blog post department. June is going to be for reading, writing and organizing. 

Linking up with Gretch & Kristen!

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The First 100 Days

The week leading up to camp has always been full of little rituals and traditions. Things that made me feel prepared to start the summer. I would spend an evening assembling welcome bags for all the staff, an afternoon making warm fuzzy envelopes and many hours trying not to overpack but also not run out of clean clothes before the next laundry day rolled around. I would make sure to include a meal of three cheese pizza pops & pepsi into my camp prep, taking time to reflect on the beginnings of my camp love. And on the night before I would often craft the perfect pre-camp playlist to listen to during the drive. Instead of doing all those things I found myself navigating the complexities of palliative care. 

I always had a mini-celebration when I hit the "100 Days Until Camp" day and so I had decided that I would celebrate "100 Days" of this new life, which happened to fall on May 11. I had originally planned to celebrate by drinking my very last can of Vanilla Coke (that I had been saving for when I got a year round camp job), eating chips & dip and maybe watching The Parent Trap. I ended up spending the day in one of our organization's homes, which seemed like a much more fitting celebration. Even if it didn't involve any Vanilla Coke. 

On Friday morning after a full week of waiting for the inevitable, our community member passed away. Today there will be a wake and tomorrow a funeral. And amid all of those emotions I'm also trying to figure out how to navigate summer life without camp. The combination of all of that has made me a bit of a hot mess these past few days. Saturday I did three loads of laundry and debated asking the neighbours if they had any to do. Yesterday I got groceries and tidied by apartment and watched too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy. This morning I am going to help set up for the wake and then likely spend some time at the office. Even though it's a long weekend I need to be busy and productive because otherwise I'm sure I'll find myself pacing the living room. 

And maybe what I really need is to stop trying to keep myself busy and just let things settle. To give myself permission to be sort of sad but also excited about the possibilities of a summer without camp. 

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May Life 2017

Another month of radio silence around here...

Personal Life// The clique-ness is really hard. It's such a unique blend of work/personal that it's unlike anything I've ever experienced so navigating it feels impossible. I've been included in a few things but nothing fulfilling. I try to Skype with H. and/or R. every week or every second week and I've been going home one weekend a month and it's worked out that I've also made mini-weekend trips at least one other weekend. Things aren't terrible but I do feel rather lonely. 

Hobbies// This improved by leaps & bounds. I am caught up with Project Life as far as printing photos goes and I have everything slotted into pockets, it's now just a matter of adding journalling and embellishments. I didn't take a whole lot of photos this month, but I did have my camera out a few times so it's an improvement. Blogging clearly hasn't made a come back but I'm still working on how to factor that into my day on a more regular basis. 

Career// I knew being in the office full time would be huge but even I underestimated how what a difference it would make. I feel like now I can at least focus my attention in one place and that's helpful when it comes to feeling less stress. Again, I'm hesitant to make any sweeping statements at the three month mark but I will say it's not love. It is a stepping stone though and I recognize that there's lots to learn over the next couple of years that will be transferable. I spent some time doing camp related things this past weekend and it really confirmed that my long term goal is to get back to camp. I have no idea what that will look like but knowing what needs to get done is the first step in getting it done. 

Spirituality// Eh, could be better. I got back into the habit of choosing a word of the week and still haven't really missed a day writing in my journal so those are good things. I was tempted to order a Bible journalling starter kit but finding something that is reasonably priced/can be shipped to Canada has proved to be a challenge. 

Health// I've been going on lots of evening walks, which is great. Eating has been semi-challenging because I'm not entirely in control of my own menu and that's annoying & frustrating for me. Realistically this probably won't change much until the fall so until then I will just make the best of things. 

Goals// My goals for April were to manage my stress better and make time for hobbies. I definitely achieved making time for hobbies and I think in general my stress levels improved. I also made a big extra payment on my student loan which was sort of a goal but not one I had specifically verbalized. For May I'd like to write some blog posts, make plans for a fun summer vacation and convince myself to splurge on an Erin Condren Hourly Planner. 

Linking up with Gretch & Kristen!

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April Life 2017

It seems like I blinked and March happened. In some ways that's a good thing because I keep telling myself that these months will be the hardest and once I'm over the initial hump things will be better. In other ways I feel like I'm no closer to that plateau than I was the beginning of March. 

Personal Life// In some ways this has gotten better. I've never been someone who makes instant friends and it's not something I'm particularly good at doing. At the end of two months I think I've at least identified some people who might be on my wave length. I'm also in the office full time now and have free evenings four nights a week instead of two. That should help balance my need for introvert time with the necessity of making some local friends. This past weekend I went to visit R. & H. and it was lovely to spend time with them. 

Hobbies// I didn't make any time for Project Life in March and barely took any photos. I didn't even pick a word of the week or decorate my planner during the second half of March. I know I need to change that for April because it's not sustainable and I can't let my entire life be consumed by work. (Especially when I don't particularly love my job.) 

Career// I'm only two months in so I'm hesitate to make any sweeping statements but I'm not sure I see myself here long term. I'm confident that I will complete my current contract and there will be lots of great moments along the way. I have doubts about my ability to be happy here long term. If I'm going to take on a job like this that doesn't really end when I leave the office at the end of the day I need to absolutely love what I'm doing. On a more positive note I'm so very thankful that I'm still close to family and relatively close to H. & R. there are no required plane trips to access anyone. Maybe that part should have went with personal but it also fits with career. 

Spirituality// I stopped reading Savor because I was frustrated with all the references to husbands and children. As I mentioned above, I also neglected to choose a word of the week for half of March. I did still add something to my journal every night, some nights it was a few sentences and others a few pages, which is exactly the expectation I set for myself at the beginning of the year. I think my current level of stress is preventing me from engaging in any sort of real spiritual practices. Which is terrible but I'm just telling it like it is. 

Health// I still never missed a lunch break. Which is a culture shift I am incredibly grateful for, if it's getting a little late and we're all still at our desks someone will take the lead and remind everyone it's time to eat. This is a huge culture shift from most, if not all, other paces I've worked and it's a welcome change. I've noticed that the stress and anxiety are starting to impact my appetite but I'm trying to keep it in check and make sure that I'm not skipping meals altogether, although I've also been guilty of that a few times. 

Goals// I'm not sure what I want to accomplish in April. I know that I need to make time for hobbies and manage my stress better. 

Linking up with Gretch & Kristen!

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One Thing After The Next

Let me walk you through the kind of week it's been...

Monday. Snowstorm. I was filling it at one of the homes and was supposed to be there at 7 a.m. but the weather was terrible and there was no way I was driving through it at 6:45. I did end up driving through it at 7:45 to get there for 8 but it was still horrible and it was not a good start to the week. Because I was filling in at a house I usually work in the office from 9-12 and then have a few hours break in the afternoon before going back to the house and staying until 10:00 p.m. Because Monday was a storm and everyone's schedule was off I ended up not getting a break in the afternoon. And that lead to a 14 hour day, which was exhausting.

Tuesday. Again, the weather wasn't great and we ended up cancelling an evening event that we had planned. This was actually a huge blessing because it meant I was home right at 4:00 p.m. I made supper and watched Big Brother Canada and was in bed by 9:30. 

Wednesday. I intended on documenting my day for a 'Day in the Life' post. I took one phone. A screen shot of the time on my phone as I was going out the door in the morning. The rest of the day was spent trying to catch up on e-mails and plan ahead for the next few weeks. 

Thursday. Snow storm. That's #3 in case you lost count. Again the whole day was off, there were terrible road conditions and so many minor and not so minor incidents. When I got home last night at 8:30 p.m. I collapsed on my couch and had to search for motivation to get myself ready for bed. 

Friday. It's retreat week around these parts so I went into the office for an hour this morning and then to chapel and then was with a small group until 3:15. Now I'm home for a brief break before heading out again for another evening event. 

Tomorrow & Sunday is more small groups and gatherings followed by another full week of work. Originally I was supposed to be traveling for a training conference but that has been cancelled so there is some reprieve in there. I can't believe we're going into the last week of March. It feels like I haven't taken a deep breath since January. 

I'm not sure if a regular schedule of events will ever happen around here but I do hope that it gets at least a little more predictable. I haven't had my camera out of it's bag since I started here and I've totally neglected my Project Life album. Blogging has been pretty low on the priority list lately as well. I know that I'll never find a perfect balance between it all but I am hopeful that someday there will be a little more equality. 

Little Things Lately

I always find it challenging to start blogging again after a hiatus. I'm never sure if I should start with an update or skip through all that and start current. I did manage to keep up with What's Up Wednesday and What's New With You so there hasn't been total radio silence around these parts but it still feels like there's a gap to be filled. And the best way to fill a gap is will a list!

{one}

This was my view most nights last weekend. It my turn to be 'on call' with the emergency phone so I wasn't straying too far from home. Instead I watched a few episodes from the new season of Mind of a Chef on Netflix, indulged in pop and made simple but delicious pitas. 

{two}

For February & March my schedule has been filling in at one of the houses on Sundays & Mondays, working in the office on Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday and then my weekend being on Friday & Saturday. It's been rather exhausting trying to balance everything all at once but it looks like starting in April I will start a regular Monday-Friday full time in the office schedule and I am really looking forward to that happening. 

{three}

I loved Full House, Mary-Kate & Ashley were everything I aspired to be as an elementary schooler and I adored the fact D.J. & I shared the same first name. When Fuller House premiered I didn't watch because I didn't want to ruin the magic and I was pretty skeptical of the whole thing. Last Thursday I was searching for something to watch that was light hearted and I could leave on as background noise and ended up playing the first episode of the series. I found myself texting a friend about how terrible & cheesy it was but I kept watching....all week long. And last night I reached the end and realized I had become re-attached to D.J. and the Tanner/Fuller/Gibbler Family. Now I need a season three and another show I can actually use as background noise and won't find myself sitting on the couch passionately texting R. all the reasons D.J. and Steve need to be together. Suggestions?

{four}

I've spent my entire life working/living at camp in the summer which means my summer wardrobe consists entirely of neon Nike running shorts, tie-dye t-shirts and a handful of sundresses, jean shorts and tank tops I wore on my days off. My new job is pretty casual...but it's not that casual. So I've been busy doing inventory and figuring out what I need to add to my closet before the warm weather arrives. The exciting part about that is camp has a very strict closed toe shoe policy, flip flops & sandals were for days off only. It has been years since I got to wear sandals all summer and I am so excited to buy some new summer shoes! 

{five}

The past six weeks have been hard in all the ways I thought they would be and challenging in a bunch of ways I wasn't expecting. I am finally starting to see glimmers of light at the end of the tunnel. There are still days when I feel like I was handed the keys to a sinking ship but if the last five years of camp taught me anything it's that sinking ships can be repaired and restored. 

Linking up here. 

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